| 240463 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| The Letter A |
Rejoice, the first letter. Do you believe we could construct sentences without it? |
| Unhappy 3D Printer |
Why is it only printing plastic potatoes? |
| Aged YEETmas Whiskey |
Aged in the depths of unknown underworlds by the finest Old Gods. May cause insanity. |
| DTI Action Figure |
The hero & dad of the Sparlor now as a live action figure! Black cape, big banhammer and bribes included. |
| Badass Model Airplane |
All the parts are there! Except glue. You'll have to make due. |
| Stone |
It's a stone. Even better for throwing at giant spiders. |
| Spider Silk Robe |
Indestructible and insanely light, let's you move like a shadow. Weaved by Spiralian Tower Spiders. |
| Banhammer |
Impressive quality. Sticker says "Made in Japan." |
| Silver Rat |
Found in the Tower Sewers. Smells faintly of cheese and mustard. He's good at finding pizza. |
| EternalX Splushie |
SpiP #299 - A tealy pigmomma of pure sunshine. Tells you cute things about Claire when squeezed! |
| Bitey Splushie |
SpiP #198 - Hug him tight and he calls you a motherfucker! Has a shiny crown with #fuckasherjade on it. |
| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
| Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch |
Lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it! |
| Traumatized Tarantula |
He's seen things... Bad things. His only comfort can be found with tiny crocheting equipment. He's quite handy! |
| Snakes' Eternal Drink |
A magically perpetual drink of ever-changing delicious flavor. Never go thirsty again with this snakey concoction. |
| Asherjade Splushie |
SpiP #032 - A feisty little fisherman from the Tower mote! Tiny model airplane, fancy fishing lures and delicious pie included. |
| Lembas Bread Batch |
Excellent for sustenance on long and straining journeys, like, climbing the Tower floors. Stays fresh for months and just a crumb will fill you. |
| Sonic Screwdriver of Space-time Shenanigans |
With this versatile tool, you can hack into alien technology, unlock doors, and even fix the occasional plot hole in the fabric of reality. |
| S'tower Tartan Kilt |
Adorned with the unique spiral tartan, complete with sporran for one’s pebbles and a pleat that guarantees it will only fly up at the most appropriate of times. Goes well with any robe and dagger! |
| Chocolate Spiral Tower |
A swirly depiction of the Tower with each floor being a different flavor of white, dark or milk chocolate. WARNING: Over 9000 floors. Might cause nausea. |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
| Bioshock: Remastered |
Like, the actual game. I will give you the Steam code if you buy this. |
| Fabulous Bouquet |
Absolutley beautifully arranged bouquet. Anyone receiving one would surely be flattered. |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster x2 |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| Tower Pie Ghost |
The call of Halloween brought her forth.. Roaming the halls, wailing for pumpkin pie all night long. Please adopt her and make some pie. |
| 88 Proof Rootbeer |
Will knock your socks off, and your number-neighbor's socks too, honestly. Be careful! |
| Squishy Tentacles of Cheer |
Like a squish in pastry form! Baked with love by a thousand tentacles, quite quickly too! Squishy texture, creamy filling, and sprinkles on top, of course. Qam oou iilth ez i awtgsshu amun on'ma! |