Crit_Crab's Inventory (safe)

Item Description
27269 o The currency used in SPONGE.
Party Robe Colorful, charming and utterly cool. Tailored to your perfect measurements, unbelievably flattering and dapper! Get your groove on at any party or sacrifice.
Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble.
Omnitool Replica Looks cool. Solves nothing. Satisfies everything.
Goggles of Selective Perception Hide red flags, bad ideas, and awkward exes.
Bubble Robe How...how does it even stay together? The bubbles won't break. It's mesmerizing.
Pink Rockin' Robe Blindingy HOT pink velvet with an irresistibly silky lining and more pockets than you'll ever need! Perfect for collecting things and storing treasure. Turns into a pillow when needed.
Veles' Beard Oil Enhances charm and plausible deniability.
Bottle of Mead of Poetry x2 One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties.
Pizza Pie Dagger The true multi-purpose dagger for all your sacrificial, pizza slicin' and pie cuttin' needs!
Sexy Sinjury Poster Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice.
Red Rum A fine bottle of aged rum. Something about the label seems ominously suspicious.
Bioluminescent Robe Gives you that fungal glow, without the spores. Probably.
Black Velvet Robe Luxurious and rich velvet, silver trim, enormous hood and pockets, embroidered with your number.
Kinky Robe Uh.. Are you sure you want to wear that to this week's sacrifice? I mean, it's a bit risqué, no? You make it work though.
Cute Furry Robe Super warm and fuzzy, adorable ears on the hood, hidden pockets, embroidered with your number.
Retro Denim Robe Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it.
Bloodhungry Beast From the depths of the Tower, deeper than any Stowerling has dared to venture, arose this strangely compelling fellow. With a low murmur and a stanky side-eye, he will accompany you on any quest. May curse passersby and eat children.
Terrific Tower Towel For all your drying, lounging, relaxing and adventuring needs - this towel will keep you safe, dry and stylish at all times. WARNING: DO NOT FORGET IT!
Plastic Action Dagger What every kid (Stowerling) wants for Christmas! Cool buttons that shoot lasers, beep and boop, many flashing lights and a hidden water-spraying gag function! Make all your fellow Stowerlings jealous with this baby!
Spiral Shoes Boogie down in the grooviest shoes! Funky colors, luxurious suede, and a silent step. Made for sneaking up silently and dancing the night away.
Inflatable FLUSH Suit In case of flushing, the suit automatically inflates making your FLUSH a luxurious and relaxing float as you go for a joyride down the pipes.
Huginn One of Odin's ravens. To the hanged he flies.
Holiday Halberd The craftsmanship is immaculate. Cut down your enemies with cheer!
Can of Mayonaise Why is it in a can though?
Lawn Chair Bask in the Sparlor gardens in your comfy new chair.
Crate of Bubblegum Am I crazy, or is that a lotta gum?! Now you always have an alternative to kicking ass.