| 157057 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Tallest Ice Cream Cone |
It's got every flavor on one cone! |
| Backup Mom |
For when your mom's too busy or thinks you're too old to take pictures of, this one will smother you like you were 5 again. |
| SilentEquestrian's Shadow |
That's where it went! I thought something was... off... |
| Dwarf |
He doesn't do anything. He just grunts and mumbles obscenities. |
| Sheet |
You're the ghost of the Sparlor now! OooOooOo |
| The Letter R |
Radiant. Ravenous. Rousing. |
| Bucket of Fish |
Holding this, all the aquatic creatures of the Sparlor are your buddies! |
| Broken Alarm Clock |
Wakes you up at the wrong time, twice a day. |
| YEETmas Mash |
Yummy! Disclaimer: No Sparlor Spuds were harmed in the making of this mash. |
| Red |
How- how can you own a color?? |
| Protection Charm x10 |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
| Socks |
How exciting. At least they have spirals on them. |
| Basic T-Shirt |
It says "I was YEETed and all I got was this stupid shirt." |
| Thumping Boots |
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! |
| Snake Plushie |
10 feet long! Wrap it around your neck and it will hiss! Smells faintly of alcohol though, wonder why.. |
| Official Certificate |
Its very nice, framed, and makes you an expert at...something. The text is conveniently smudged |
| Funky Hammer |
You never know when it'll be hammer time, right? |
| Tower Kitten |
Every tower needs a kitten! This little guy clearly wants to live here, but what shall we call him? |
| Teal Silk Robe |
Shiniest Spiralian silk, golden trim, a wonderfully large hood, embroidered with your number. |
| Love Pie |
Baked with love out of love, topped with deliciousness and filled with mushiness, filling you with love. |
| Pizza Sheets |
100% Spiralian cotton sheets with a beautiful pizza-print all over. Even better, if you sleep on the floor! |
| Ever-bouncing Bouncy Ball |
It never stops bouncing! It's actually pretty annoying. |
| Silver Ring |
Ornately detailed for those who like rock and stone. |
| Red Sock |
This wasn't red before... |
| Ring of Power |
This will make you like, totally empowered! Like eternal life and shit! Trust me bro, you'll be so badass! |
| Snakes Plushie |
SpiP #055 - Got snakes? The coolest bartender ever! Comes with sooo many snakes, but she still needs MORE! MORE!! |
| Biz Plushie |
SpiP #199 - A clever little plush with pockets full of fortunes! If you're lucky, he might help you solve mysteries. |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
| Cookie Cannon |
Make cookies, not organ donations!! |
| Auntie Ev Plushie |
SpiP #335 - The sweetest badass auntie of the Tower! Always ready with a tiny whip and a cuppa tea! |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
| Revesvans Plushie |
SpiP #202 - Handsomely clad in his traditional norwegian Bunad! Writes wickedly awesome fantasy novels for you, signed copies, of course. |
| Hunky Bibbleskit Poster |
As requested by DTI! |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| Lucifer Plushie |
SpiP #666 - Our tiny overlord in all his glory! Pitchfork, hellfire and evil plans included. Only available on Halloween. |
| Hunky DTI Costume |
Be the man himself! Banhammer, yorkshire pudding and english accent included. |
| Sinjury Costume |
Move in the shadows, spreading glitter wherever you go. Very tentacly, extra squish. |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
| Commemorative Pumpkin |
I celebrated Halloween in the Tower 2023! BOO! |
| Scary Stories of the Tower |
An anthology of bone-chilling and cursed tales. The pages were found behind a bricked up wall in the tombs.. |
| Mitt Plushie |
SpiP #911 - Who you gonna call? MITTHRAWNURUO! Solid as a rock. Poke at your own risk. Comes with a very peculiar arsenal and first-aid kit. |
| Endless Merry Spuds |
The bestest spuds. The best! And merry, too! |
| Nylockian Stuffing |
Slowly fermented in the depths of the sea for 69 decades, with salty surprises and lots of love. Dare you try it? |
| UnU Plushie |
SpiP #012 - Fluffy, cute and fierce! As the king, she comes equipped with a tiny crown, customized art and a tiny alien companion. |
| Chocolate Kiro |
Valentines Day is coming! And what could be cuter and sweeter than a little chocolate Kiro! Made from organic Spiral Chocolate! |
| Assfuck Conditioner |
Homemade with love and 1911 secret ingredients. Makes the ladies love your luscious locks! |
| Spartan Monkey Plushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
| Hope |
When you need it, you have it. When you see someone in need of it, give it. |
| Asherjade Plushie |
SpiP #032 - A feisty little fisherman from the Tower mote! Tiny model airplane, fancy fishing lures and delicious pie included. |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
| Fancy Chocolates |
Woah, that's some fine chocolate! Shaped like exotic animals, potatoes and sailboats! |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
| Spiral Sundress |
A classically beautiful floral print with beautiful spiral detailing. Flows in the sunlight, glows in moonlight. Gorgeous! |
| S'tower Tartan Kilt |
Adorned with the unique spiral tartan, complete with sporran for one’s pebbles and a pleat that guarantees it will only fly up at the most appropriate of times. Goes well with any robe and dagger! |
| Boobs |
Could be the perfect pillow. Could be the perfect pair. Could be everything you've ever wanted. Could be a Goodyear blimp with a nipple on it. Look at the tiiiiit! The tiiiiit! |
| Time |
Time is money. |
| Spiral Chandelier |
Classy yet narcaleptically inhospitable. |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |