| 212441 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Tallest Ice Cream Cone |
It's got every flavor on one cone! |
| Backup Mom |
For when your mom's too busy or thinks you're too old to take pictures of, this one will smother you like you were 5 again. |
| SilentEquestrian's Shadow |
That's where it went! I thought something was... off... |
| Dwarf |
He doesn't do anything. He just grunts and mumbles obscenities. |
| Sheet |
You're the ghost of the Sparlor now! OooOooOo |
| The Letter R |
Radiant. Ravenous. Rousing. |
| Bucket of Fish |
Holding this, all the aquatic creatures of the Sparlor are your buddies! |
| Broken Alarm Clock |
Wakes you up at the wrong time, twice a day. |
| YEETmas Mash |
Yummy! Disclaimer: No Sparlor Spuds were harmed in the making of this mash. |
| Red |
How- how can you own a color?? |
| Protection Charm x10 |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
| Socks |
How exciting. At least they have spirals on them. |
| Basic T-Shirt |
It says "I was YEETed and all I got was this stupid shirt." |
| Thumping Boots |
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! |
| Snake Splushie |
10 feet long! Wrap it around your neck and it will hiss! Smells faintly of alcohol though, wonder why.. |
| Official Certificate |
Its very nice, framed, and makes you an expert at...something. The text is conveniently smudged |
| Funky Hammer |
You never know when it'll be hammer time, right? |
| Tower Kitten |
Every tower needs a kitten! This little guy clearly wants to live here, but what shall we call him? |
| Teal Silk Robe |
Shiniest Spiralian silk, golden trim, a wonderfully large hood, embroidered with your number. |
| Love Pie |
Baked with love out of love, topped with deliciousness and filled with mushiness, filling you with love. |
| Pizza Sheets |
100% Spiralian cotton sheets with a beautiful pizza-print all over. Even better, if you sleep on the floor! |
| Ever-bouncing Bouncy Ball |
It never stops bouncing! It's actually pretty annoying. |
| Silver Ring |
Ornately detailed for those who like rock and stone. |
| Red Sock |
This wasn't red before... |
| Ring of Power |
This will make you like, totally empowered! Like eternal life and shit! Trust me bro, you'll be so badass! |
| Snakes Splushie |
SpiP #055 - Got snakes? The coolest bartender ever! Comes with sooo many snakes, but she still needs MORE! MORE!! |
| Biz Splushie |
SpiP #199 - A clever little plush with pockets full of fortunes! If you're lucky, he might help you solve mysteries. |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
| Cookie Cannon |
Make cookies, not organ donations!! |
| Auntie Ev Splushie |
SpiP #335 - The sweetest badass auntie of the Tower! Always ready with a tiny whip and a cuppa tea! |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
| Revesvans Splushie |
SpiP #202 - Handsomely clad in his traditional norwegian Bunad! Writes wickedly awesome fantasy novels for you, signed copies, of course. |
| Hunky Bibbleskit Poster |
As requested by DTI! |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| Lucifer Splushie |
SpiP #666 - Our tiny overlord in all his glory! Pitchfork, hellfire and evil plans included. Only available on Halloween. |
| Hunky DTI Costume |
Be the man himself! Banhammer, yorkshire pudding and english accent included. |
| Sinjury Costume |
Move in the shadows, spreading glitter wherever you go. Very tentacly, extra squish. |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
| Commemorative Pumpkin |
I celebrated Halloween in the Tower 2023! BOO! |
| Scary Stories of the Tower |
An anthology of bone-chilling and cursed tales. The pages were found behind a bricked up wall in the tombs.. |
| Mitt Splushie |
SpiP #911 - Who you gonna call? MITTHRAWNURUO! Solid as a rock. Poke at your own risk. Comes with a very peculiar arsenal and first-aid kit. |
| Endless Merry Spuds |
The bestest spuds. The best! And merry, too! |
| Nylockian Stuffing |
Slowly fermented in the depths of the sea for 69 decades, with salty surprises and lots of love. Dare you try it? |
| UnU Splushie |
SpiP #012 - Fluffy, cute and fierce! As the king, she comes equipped with a tiny crown, customized art and a tiny alien companion. |
| Chocolate Kiro |
Valentines Day is coming! And what could be cuter and sweeter than a little chocolate Kiro! Made from organic Spiral Chocolate! |
| Assfuck Conditioner |
Homemade with love and 1911 secret ingredients. Makes the ladies love your luscious locks! |
| Spartan Monkey Splushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
| Hope |
When you need it, you have it. When you see someone in need of it, give it. |
| Asherjade Splushie |
SpiP #032 - A feisty little fisherman from the Tower mote! Tiny model airplane, fancy fishing lures and delicious pie included. |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
| Fancy Chocolates |
Woah, that's some fine chocolate! Shaped like exotic animals, potatoes and sailboats! |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
| Spiral Sundress |
A classically beautiful floral print with beautiful spiral detailing. Flows in the sunlight, glows in moonlight. Gorgeous! |
| S'tower Tartan Kilt |
Adorned with the unique spiral tartan, complete with sporran for one’s pebbles and a pleat that guarantees it will only fly up at the most appropriate of times. Goes well with any robe and dagger! |
| Boobs |
Could be the perfect pillow. Could be the perfect pair. Could be everything you've ever wanted. Could be a Goodyear blimp with a nipple on it. Look at the tiiiiit! The tiiiiit! |
| Time |
Time is money. |
| Spiral Chandelier |
Classy yet narcaleptically inhospitable. |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
| How to HOWDY |
You no speak so good? Fear not! Kiro will teach you to master your mind, tongue and even the whole alphabet with this tome of linguistic goodness! Includes all translations, even fantastically imaginary ones. |
| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |