| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
432329o |
| Ill Intent |
“Diaphanous miasma that will surround you and inspire you to acts of intergalactic sabotage, fight for your rights, or just get it together. Requires proper licensure.” |
1 |
| The Pelvic Thrust |
This will really drive you insa-a-a-a-ane. |
1 |
| Probo Praily |
A small, harmless creature with a beautiful shell. It's color reflects the weather. |
1 |
| Dog Button |
An item that turns the owner into a dog. |
1 |
| Boy Button |
An item that turns the owner into a boy. |
1 |
| Robe of Infinite Snacks |
Summon a snack at will! Beware: It is unclear where they come from. |
1 |
| Girl Button |
An item that turns the owner into a into a girl. |
1 |
| Cat Button |
And item that turns the owner into a cat. |
1 |
| Tactical Camel |
Equipped with a silky robe, super secret spiral gear and a mustard powered pizza-launcher |
1 |
| Robot Bees in a Bracelet |
Fashionable. Buzzing. One-use panic button. |
1 |
| Ragnarök Insurance |
Can you afford not to buy it? |
1 |
| Icarus Travel Kit |
Includes wings, questionable ambition, and SPF 50 |
1 |
| Scroll of Very Mild Revenge |
Mostly generates passive-aggressive Post-its. |
1 |
| Nidhöggr |
Acquire him at your own risk. |
1 |
| Glasses of Sudden Insight |
Great for exam cramming, terrible for existential dread. |
1 |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
1 |
| Tentacly Body Pillow |
Feelin' lonesome? Could do with a squishy arm around you? Feel safe and squished as you float in the dreamlands! |
1 |
| 14 Cutting Boards |
Why settle for one? Why settle for 10? Cut 14 things at once! Perfect for slicing and dicing fresh meat with ease! |
1 |
| Obsessed Chicken |
This is Cyril the chicken. Cyril's only dream is to cross the road outside the tower. Keep Cyril safe! |
1 |
| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
1 |
| How to HOWDY |
You no speak so good? Fear not! Kiro will teach you to master your mind, tongue and even the whole alphabet with this tome of linguistic goodness! Includes all translations, even fantastically imaginary ones. |
1 |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
1 |
| Spiral Chandelier |
Classy yet narcaleptically inhospitable. |
1 |
| Time |
Time is money. |
1 |
| Boobs |
Could be the perfect pillow. Could be the perfect pair. Could be everything you've ever wanted. Could be a Goodyear blimp with a nipple on it. Look at the tiiiiit! The tiiiiit! |
1 |
| S'tower Tartan Kilt |
Adorned with the unique spiral tartan, complete with sporran for ones pebbles and a pleat that guarantees it will only fly up at the most appropriate of times. Goes well with any robe and dagger! |
1 |
| Spiral Sundress |
A classically beautiful floral print with beautiful spiral detailing. Flows in the sunlight, glows in moonlight. Gorgeous! |
1 |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
1 |
| Fancy Chocolates |
Woah, that's some fine chocolate! Shaped like exotic animals, potatoes and sailboats! |
1 |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
1 |
| Asherjade Splushie |
SpiP #032 - A feisty little fisherman from the Tower mote! Tiny model airplane, fancy fishing lures and delicious pie included. |
1 |
| Hope |
When you need it, you have it. When you see someone in need of it, give it. |
1 |
| Spartan Monkey Splushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
1 |
| Assfuck Conditioner |
Homemade with love and 1911 secret ingredients. Makes the ladies love your luscious locks! |
1 |
| Chocolate Kiro |
Valentines Day is coming! And what could be cuter and sweeter than a little chocolate Kiro! Made from organic Spiral Chocolate! |
1 |
| UnU Splushie |
SpiP #012 - Fluffy, cute and fierce! As the king, she comes equipped with a tiny crown, customized art and a tiny alien companion. |
1 |
| Nylockian Stuffing |
Slowly fermented in the depths of the sea for 69 decades, with salty surprises and lots of love. Dare you try it? |
1 |
| Endless Merry Spuds |
The bestest spuds. The best! And merry, too! |
1 |
| Mitt Splushie |
SpiP #911 - Who you gonna call? MITTHRAWNURUO! Solid as a rock. Poke at your own risk. Comes with a very peculiar arsenal and first-aid kit. |
1 |
| Scary Stories of the Tower |
An anthology of bone-chilling and cursed tales. The pages were found behind a bricked up wall in the tombs.. |
1 |
| Commemorative Pumpkin |
I celebrated Halloween in the Tower 2023! BOO! |
1 |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
1 |
| Sinjury Costume |
Move in the shadows, spreading glitter wherever you go. Very tentacly, extra squish. |
1 |
| Hunky DTI Costume |
Be the man himself! Banhammer, yorkshire pudding and english accent included. |
1 |
| Lucifer Splushie |
SpiP #666 - Our tiny overlord in all his glory! Pitchfork, hellfire and evil plans included. Only available on Halloween. |
1 |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
1 |
| Hunky Bibbleskit Poster |
As requested by DTI! |
1 |
| Revesvans Splushie |
SpiP #202 - Handsomely clad in his traditional norwegian Bunad! Writes wickedly awesome fantasy novels for you, signed copies, of course. |
1 |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
1 |
| Auntie Ev Splushie |
SpiP #335 - The sweetest badass auntie of the Tower! Always ready with a tiny whip and a cuppa tea! |
1 |
| Cookie Cannon |
Make cookies, not organ donations!! |
1 |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
1 |
| Biz Splushie |
SpiP #199 - A clever little plush with pockets full of fortunes! If you're lucky, he might help you solve mysteries. |
1 |
| Snakes Splushie |
SpiP #055 - Got snakes? The coolest bartender ever! Comes with sooo many snakes, but she still needs MORE! MORE!! |
1 |
| Ring of Power |
This will make you like, totally empowered! Like eternal life and shit! Trust me bro, you'll be so badass! |
1 |
| Red Sock |
This wasn't red before... |
1 |
| Silver Ring |
Ornately detailed for those who like rock and stone. |
1 |
| Ever-bouncing Bouncy Ball |
It never stops bouncing! It's actually pretty annoying. |
1 |
| Pizza Sheets |
100% Spiralian cotton sheets with a beautiful pizza-print all over. Even better, if you sleep on the floor! |
1 |
| Love Pie |
Baked with love out of love, topped with deliciousness and filled with mushiness, filling you with love. |
1 |
| Teal Silk Robe |
Shiniest Spiralian silk, golden trim, a wonderfully large hood, embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Tower Kitten |
Every tower needs a kitten! This little guy clearly wants to live here, but what shall we call him? |
1 |
| Funky Hammer |
You never know when it'll be hammer time, right? |
1 |
| Official Certificate |
Its very nice, framed, and makes you an expert at...something. The text is conveniently smudged |
1 |
| Snake Splushie |
10 feet long! Wrap it around your neck and it will hiss! Smells faintly of alcohol though, wonder why.. |
1 |
| Thumping Boots |
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! |
1 |
| Basic T-Shirt |
It says \"I was YEETed and all I got was this stupid shirt.\" |
1 |
| Socks |
How exciting. At least they have spirals on them. |
1 |
| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
10 |
| Red |
How- how can you own a color?? |
1 |
| YEETmas Mash |
Yummy! Disclaimer: No Sparlor Spuds were harmed in the making of this mash. |
1 |
| Broken Alarm Clock |
Wakes you up at the wrong time, twice a day. |
1 |
| Bucket of Fish |
Holding this, all the aquatic creatures of the Sparlor are your buddies! |
1 |
| The Letter R |
Radiant. Ravenous. Rousing. |
1 |
| Sheet |
You're the ghost of the Sparlor now! OooOooOo |
1 |
| Dwarf |
He doesn't do anything. He just grunts and mumbles obscenities. |
1 |
| SilentEquestrian's Shadow |
That's where it went! I thought something was... off... |
1 |
| Backup Mom |
For when your mom's too busy or thinks you're too old to take pictures of, this one will smother you like you were 5 again. |
1 |
| Tallest Ice Cream Cone |
It's got every flavor on one cone! |
1 |