| 15218 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Kinky Robe |
Uh.. Are you sure you want to wear that to this week's sacrifice? I mean, it's a bit risqué, no? You make it work though. |
| Towering Tool Belt |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
| Ultimate Spiral Goggles |
Dope as hell. Equipped with X-Ray vision, treasure detection, fresh meat scanners, party mode and night vision. |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
| Secret Safari Maps |
Meticulously crafted by the man, the myth and the Scott himself. Ready for an adventure? If you can't bring Scott with you, this is the next best thing to have. |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
| Fancy Spiral Bouquet |
A stunning bouquet of gorgeous roses from the Tower gardens, colorful Spiral hydrangeas and scented hyacinths. |
| Latex Robe |
High collar, shiny, squeaky and sleek. Attend all sacrifices like sex on a stick. |
| Pegasus Feather Hat |
This fashionable hat is adorned with the finest feathers from the legendary Pegasus. While it grants you a regal appearance, it also attracts the attention of every bat and bird in the vicinity. |
| Pocket-sized Port-a-Portal Parchment |
This magical parchment, paired with a crayon of your choice, allows adventurers to create temporary portals to different levels of the endless tower. |
| Portable Garage |
What will you use it for? Cars, coolers, or a cabbage store? Folds up into the size of an orange! |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
| Stower Speedos |
Funky, slick and hotter than the basement furnace. Perfect for slip-n-sliding down some flushy pipes and basking at the pool. All eyes on you! |
| Fairy Dust Pop Rocks |
Makes you sparkle. |
| Belt of Batarangs |
This utility belt comes fully stocked with all the gadgets a caped vigilante could need, from grappling hooks to bat-shaped boomerangs. |
| Giggle Gummy Bears |
Bursts into fits of barely controlled laughter when you bite into it. Has the same effect on you in approximately 30 minutes later. |
| Frequent Flushing Miles |
ONLY FOR THE FLUSHED! Have you been flushed once? Buy one. Been flushed twice? Buy two, and so on. |
| Spiral Rug Cutters |
Suede soles, beautiful wallflower-pattern, 1 inch heels, indestructible toes for dancing with beginners or kicking pipes, and ventilation to avert foot stench for up to 8h. |
| Cloak of Concealment |
This cloak doesn't just hide you from sight – it also makes you completely forgettable! Perfect for avoiding awkward conversations, and generally blending into the background. Matching it with the Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
| S'tower Tartan Kilt |
Adorned with the unique spiral tartan, complete with sporran for one’s pebbles and a pleat that guarantees it will only fly up at the most appropriate of times. Goes well with any robe and dagger! |
| Lit Tower Phaser |
When there's something strange in your neighborhood... Perfect for stunning, shocking, lighting it up, and of course; groovy spiral raves. |
| Sandals of Swift Strides and Stylish Stomps |
Whether you're running late or strutting your stuff on the catwalk, these have you covered! They change color depending on your mood. |
| Ale Spit Thrower |
There broods an ale-brewing dragon in the depths beneath the Tower. This flame-thrower spews its fizziest spitfire packing a punch strong enough to take out a man with one loogie. |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |