| 313123 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Psychedelic Party Hat |
Makes you have kaleidoscopic moments of absolute psychedelic pleasure! Groovy, baby! |
| Temptation |
You need it. You want it. You crave it. You can't fight it. |
| Scurvy Dog |
A happy little guy named Kirby who's a tad mischievous. He doesn't have scurvy, that's just the sound he makes when he tries to bark. |
| Flute of the Mad God |
I double dare you to blow it... |
| Bell of Blatant Blunders |
Ring this comically oversized bell to reveal hidden passages and secrets within the tower. Chaotic consequences may follow. |
| Personal Incubus |
Priceless (for the daring adventurers willing to take the risk) - buy its freedom and see what happens… |
| Root 88 Dagger |
Exquisitly made, but it's wooden. |
| Nylockian Phalluses |
Almost as beautiful as the Fabulous Bouquet (not really). |
| Lover's Bead |
One of a pair, the owners of each half are soulmates. Whether they like it or not. |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
| Houseplant Herbert |
A large mysterious plant that comes alive at sundown, singing golden oldies. Water every full moon, and please do refer to him by his name. |
| Headless Horseman's Horse |
He is Clive. Clive would appreciate an owner that actually can see what the hell he is doing, especially when it comes to feeding Clive. Clive has many skills, including smashing pumpkins and summoning goblins. |
| Sheety Robe |
A plain white 100% cotton robe made from our old sheets; recycling at its best! Two regular pockets, medium hood, nothing too fancy. Doubles as a ghost costume. |
| Bibble Splushie x2 |
SpiP #001 - The bestest & bibbliest Skit is now your BFF! He's got pockets full of shiny pebbles, and he'll grant you 29 o a day for being so awesome. |
| How To Spiral 101 |
What is this place? What do the numbers mean? Help, I got flushed? Find weird answers for all your questions! |
| 88 Proof Rootbeer |
Will knock your socks off, and your number-neighbor's socks too, honestly. Be careful! |
| Party Animal |
Our science department hasn't still figured out what animal this is, but it sure can party! He's your responsibility now. |
| KotH Splushie |
SpiP #239 - Has an infinite supply of the finest Swiss hot chocolate, chamomile tea and popcorn. |
| Santa Costume |
Everyone's sitting on your lap and sending you letters when you wear it. You've never felt more wanted! |
| Goofball |
A ball of goof. |
| Party Robe |
Colorful, charming and utterly cool. Tailored to your perfect measurements, unbelievably flattering and dapper! Get your groove on at any party or sacrifice. |
| Moogle |
Kupo! |
| Flute of Summoning Pigeons |
Just… pigeons. Everywhere. |
| Dionysus' Party Planner |
Guarantees chaos, but not clean-up. |
| Athena's Emergency Wisdom Charm |
Works thrice. Use in times of great stupidity. |
| Cosplay BanHammer |
For moderating arguments and egos. Emits righteous thunder when swung. |
| Gorgon Eyeliner |
Slays. Occasionally literally. |
| The Allfather's Reading Glasses |
Grants clarity for contracts, not consequences. |
| Blessing of Chernobog |
You won’t like it, but you’ll remember it. |
| Golem Carving Kit |
Assemble your own emotional support rock. |
| Scroll of Infinite To-Do Lists |
Tasks refill themselves. Truly cursed. |
| Ring of Continuous Snacking |
Creates a small snack every 10 minutes. Cannot be turned off. |
| Jörmungandr Friendship Bracelet |
Elastic, shiny, slightly damp. Bites if removed improperly. |
| Mostly Harmless Masala Chai |
97% bliss, 3% plausible deniability. |
| "I <3 my Planet" t-shirt |
The planet doesn't look like Earth... What planet is that? |
| Star Succulent |
Hums showtunes during golden hour. |
| DTI Splushie |
SpiP #329 - Your very own little trustworthy DTI! Comes with a tiny plush mustard sandwich and banhammer. |
| Scented Candle: Library Fuzz |
Smells like old books and slightly dusty comfort. |
| NyQuil Night Blend |
For when you REALLY need to sleep. |
| Valkyrie Wing Clips |
Adds flair and temporary levitation to any hairstyle. |
| Unlucky Footless Rabbit |
Unlucky that it got caught. No idea where the scar on it's eye came from, though. |
| Spiral Parakeet |
The most spirally bird you've ever seen. |
| Fancy Spiral Bouquet |
A stunning bouquet of gorgeous roses from the Tower gardens, colorful Spiral hydrangeas and scented hyacinths. |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum x2 |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
| DTI's Fatherly Hug |
Now, this is very rare. And he'll never admit to it, but nonetheless, you got it. Cherish it. |
| Spiral Shoes |
Boogie down in the grooviest shoes! Funky colors, luxurious suede, and a silent step. Made for sneaking up silently and dancing the night away. |
| Robe of Ruckus |
This shaggy robe is a pure delight! Huge hood with floppy ears, 25 hidden pockets, strange gadgets, trinkets and surprises which vary with each one of these robes. You kinda look like Scooby Doo! |
| North North Star |
Like the North Star, but more North. |
| Hannukah Hat |
It's 8 times as fancy as your fanciest hat. Guaranteed to bring joy. |
| Non-descript Cup |
Definitely not full of your favorite alcohol. Grab a few and give em out to your friends! |
| Inflatable FLUSH Suit |
In case of flushing, the suit automatically inflates making your FLUSH a luxurious and relaxing float as you go for a joyride down the pipes. |
| The Forgotten One |
"Eons ago, they worshipped me. Now, I sit alone, a shadow of what I once was. Perhaps, you could provide me some companionship?", it groaned hopefully. |
| Milkshake Machine |
It has no lid. Who took the lid? |
| Gigantic Pig |
You'd think he's a hippopotamus, but he's not. Enjoys taking a dip in the moat and scaring away salesmen. |
| Dirty Magazines |
Found in the room of a certain Sparlorite, you know who.. But.. They're literally dirty? Ew. Pizza crumbs! |
| Polymorph Protection Emblem |
An item that protects the owner from changing form. |
| Singing Ring |
You're the luckiest in the land, because you've got a singing ring in your hand! |
| Very Sus VHS Videocassette |
Nylockian’s and Unu’s moms’ sex tape. |
| Ineffable Robe of Bureaucratic Invisibility |
Makes you entirely unnoticeable to any government agency. Including the tax office. |
| Disco Robe |
A mirrorball-like wonder. May cause spontaneous dance-offs, and marriage proposals. |
| Chrysalis Robe |
Makes you look like whoever you want to be. No refunds if you emerge weirder. |
| Anti-polymorph Protection Emblem |
An item that cancels out a Polymorph Protection Emblem. |
| Robe of Rain |
This rainbow colored meteorological robe that will alert you of incoming rain by singing the Gene Kelly hit 'I'm Singing in the Rain' for you and turning waterproof. Keeps you dry and provides you with a cup of tea whenever it rains. Two pockets, dagger holder, slippery feel. |