| 344460 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Endless Toilet Paper |
TP the Sparlor! You know who has to clean it up, right?! |
| Helium Megaphone |
Get yourself heard loud and clear! And very high pitched. Meep! |
| Box of Chocolates |
You never know what you're gonna get. Except caramel, there's always some caramel in there. |
| Protection Charm x2 |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
| Retro Denim Robe |
Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it. |
| Spiral Lightsaber |
It's not exactly straight, but it's fabulous. Has a suspiciously hypnotizing effect. |
| Spiral Scythe |
NOT A TOY. Strong Spiralian steel, quenched in the blood of the flushed, decorated with ornate spiral carvings. Glows in the dark. |
| Reapers Robe |
Smooth black velvet, lush orange silk lining. Enormous and ominous hood. Silver skull detailing. Endless pockets. Extra swooshy. |
| Bibbly Bubble Beer |
The most refreshing holiday beverage! Bursting with cinnamon, a hint of mustard, and tons of bubbles! |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
| Spiral Canoe |
How does a spiral canoe even work? Does it just spin in the water? Wanna be the first to test it..? |
| Celebratory Snack Pack |
It's always good to celebrate a little, and when you do, it's even better to have a snack! Even more reason to celebrate! |
| Fancy Chocolates |
Woah, that's some fine chocolate! Shaped like exotic animals, potatoes and sailboats! |
| Thinking Cap of Terrible Puns |
Wear this hat, and suddenly you'll find yourself spouting terrible puns and jokes at every opportunity. |
| Assfuck's Ginger Beer |
After some trial and error, efforts were successful! ..and there may be a finger somewhere in there. Enjoy! |
| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. It’s seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
| Moonlight Dagger |
Elegant form, decorated with opal gemstones. Gets an eerie glow at full moon... |
| Cloak of Concealment |
This cloak doesn't just hide you from sight – it also makes you completely forgettable! Perfect for avoiding awkward conversations, and generally blending into the background. Matching it with the Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
| Goggles of Geekery |
Peer through these magical goggles to see the world in all its nerdy glory, spotting any- and everything from hidden Easter eggs in the landscape to secret references in ancient texts. |
| Towel-Share Trip |
Like a time-share trip, but with towels! So grab a buddy and head off to a towely adventure, yey! |
| The Spiral Towel |
Don't forget to bring a towel! Perhaps THE most important item you should always have with you in the Spiral, especially on fridays. |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
| Ale Spit Thrower |
There broods an ale-brewing dragon in the depths beneath the Tower. This flame-thrower spews its fizziest spitfire packing a punch strong enough to take out a man with one loogie. |
| Lit Tower Phaser |
When there's something strange in your neighborhood... Perfect for stunning, shocking, lighting it up, and of course; groovy spiral raves. |
| Chocolate Spiral Tower |
A swirly depiction of the Tower with each floor being a different flavor of white, dark or milk chocolate. WARNING: Over 9000 floors. Might cause nausea. |
| Spiral Tower Biscuit Tin |
Filled with ginger crush creams, viennese, ballerina cookies, wagon wheels, dog treats, assorted buttons, business cards and that weird tomato with pins stuck in it. Blame Grandma. |
| Sinewy Spiral Sweets |
Crafted in the old laboratory, our mad scientists have finally done it! They've perfected the plag...the, perfect way to make sweets out of...meats! Yum! |
| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of "raisins", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
| Cosmic Spiral Rucksack |
Sturdy and dagger-proof! Changes color depending on your mood. Pockets and holders for your daggers, robe, even your swiss hot chocolate! Hidden compartment containing a black hole, for.. reasons. |
| Stealth Dagger 3000 |
Be the stealthiest rogue at any sacrifice. Camouflages into anything you're wearing. Needs no cleaning. |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
| Time |
Time is money. |
| A Stiff Drink |
Damn, this is what I needed after the week I had. |
| Replacement Joints |
Not sure if it will help, but the sign says it will. |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |