| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
268220o |
| The Sword of Damocles |
Hang over your head for the feeling that someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread |
1 |
| Riff's Antimatter Gun |
Emits a beam of pure antimatter. Use only on people who didn't like you ... who never liked you. |
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| Licking Lollipop |
“A lollipop in the shape of a tongue. It licks you instead of you licking it. Don’t ask how many licks it takes to get to the center. Cherry cough drop flavored.” |
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| Floor Show Fishnets |
Fishnet stockings for those who wish to participate in the floor show. One size fits most. Makes you feel sexy. |
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| Transylvanian Elbow Sex Condoms (box of 12) |
For safe elbow sex. The best way to avoid sharing Elbowsexually Transmitted Diseases with your siblings. In our perfect spirally towering world, safe elbow sex is affordable and subsidized. |
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| A Bee With a Deadly Sting |
You get a hit and your mind goes ping; |
1 |
| The Pelvic Thrust |
This will really drive you insa-a-a-a-ane. |
1 |
| A Step to the Ri-i-i-i-ight |
An important step in the process. Use with caution. |
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| A Jump to the Left |
It all starts here. May produce odd temporal anomalies if combined with other items. |
1 |
| Rocky's Body Oil |
Useful when you want to oil someone up and rub them down down down down. |
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| Eddie's Switchblade |
Makes those whose lives you threaten think, "What a guy!" and then cry. |
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| Another Dimension |
A well secluded place for those with voyeuristic intention to see all. |
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| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
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| Soothing Spiral Tea |
A bag of the tastiest blend from the Spiral gardens. Hints of spiralian roses, turnips, mustard and steel. You'll be surprised how soothing it is! |
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| Prixas Priony |
A strange, beautiful flower whose color depends on the angle you view it. |
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| Probo Praily |
A small, harmless creature with a beautiful shell. It's color reflects the weather. |
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| Prenta Prouty |
A perfectly geometrical rock, or sorts. The way you feel affects its color. |
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| Dog Button |
An item that turns the owner into a dog. |
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| Cat Button |
And item that turns the owner into a cat. |
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| High Tin of Cookies |
Cute gingerbread cookies shaped like spirals, covered in frosting & sprinkles. May get you high. |
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| Chrysalis Robe |
Makes you look like whoever you want to be. No refunds if you emerge weirder. |
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| Sparkly Glitter Robe |
Shine brighter than your dagger! Multicolored sequins that change color according to your mood. Two pockets, fuzzy lining. |
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| Robe of Infinite Snacks |
Summon a snack at will! Beware: It is unclear where they come from. |
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| Trophy for Trying Your Best |
Gold-ish. Heavy with pride. |
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| Veles' Beard Oil |
Enhances charm and plausible deniability. |
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| Goggles of Selective Perception |
Hide red flags, bad ideas, and awkward exes. |
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| Omnitool Replica |
Looks cool. Solves nothing. Satisfies everything. |
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| Tricorder Mini Power Bank |
Scans, stores, and occasionally charges your phone. |
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| Valkyrie Wing Clips |
Adds flair and temporary levitation to any hairstyle. |
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| Ragnarök Insurance |
Can you afford not to buy it? |
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| Hexpress-o Shot |
May grant temporary clairvoyance. |
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| Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster |
Grants stealth by causing observers to momentarily forget your existence. |
3 |
| Sleep Not Found Cold Brew |
May cause speed typing and the illusion of productivity. |
2 |
| Earmuffs of Selective Hearing |
Blocks out whining, unwanted feedback, and passive-aggressive suggestions. |
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| Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
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| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
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| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
2 |
| Icarus Travel Kit |
Includes wings, questionable ambition, and SPF 50 |
2 |
| Scroll of Low-Level Banishment |
Great for mosquitos and minor annoyances, does not work on humans |
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| Scroll of Petty Miracles |
Cures hiccups. Summons tiny rainclouds. |
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| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
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| Potion of Acceptable Social Interactions |
You know why. |
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| Potion of Perfect Procrastination |
Youll finally do nothing, absolutely flawlessly. |
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| Excalibur Paper Cutter |
Does not make you royaly, because strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. |
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| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
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| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
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| Portable Hole |
A hole in space-time. Where does it go? Nobody knows. |
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| Tower Towel |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
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| Potion of Existential Dread |
Makes you realize the futility of life. Somehow still a popular purchase. |
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| Cursed D20 |
Guaranteed to roll 1s when you need it most |
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| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
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| Stuffed Turkey |
His name is Thor, and you gotta put him on a diet, man! He's getting way too chonky, eating lightning and crapping thunder! |
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| Speedwagon |
Not very speedy, but it sure is a wagon! Uncovered in the attic, and it seems.. It seems it hitches to humans? |
1 |
| Gore Tex Jacket |
You look like a puffball in that thing! You can barely turn around! But, it's warm. Very warm. Plus, it's GORE TEX! |
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| Bibble's Bubbly Babka |
The perfect dessert for any feast with friends! With beautifully bubbling swirls of chocolate, caramel and bibbly goodness. |
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| Towering Tool Belt |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
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| Dracula's Ring |
An extravagant blood red ruby ring. Allows you to walk outside during daytime without bursting into flames. |
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| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
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| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
1 |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
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| Crystal Skull |
A priceless and pristine skull found in the rubble deep beneath the sewers. It emits a low electric hum and begins glowing when Flushmas is near. Some say it's...alien. |
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| Sidekick Spirit |
The presence of a once flushed friend, always by your side. Summon the Stowerling you miss dearly, or gift this to a friend to always be around them, in the good and the bad. |
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| Boo Brew |
Enjoy a pint of the Spiral's finest Halloween ale! Hints of pumpkin, blood, sweat, and tears. Cheers, friend! |
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| Replacement Joints |
Not sure if it will help, but the sign says it will. |
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| A Stiff Drink |
Damn, this is what I needed after the week I had. |
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| Time |
Time is money. |
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| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
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| Stealth Dagger 3000 |
Be the stealthiest rogue at any sacrifice. Camouflages into anything you're wearing. Needs no cleaning. |
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| Cosmic Spiral Rucksack |
Sturdy and dagger-proof! Changes color depending on your mood. Pockets and holders for your daggers, robe, even your swiss hot chocolate! Hidden compartment containing a black hole, for.. reasons. |
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| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of \"raisins\", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
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| Sinewy Spiral Sweets |
Crafted in the old laboratory, our mad scientists have finally done it! They've perfected the plag...the, perfect way to make sweets out of...meats! Yum! |
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| Spiral Tower Biscuit Tin |
Filled with ginger crush creams, viennese, ballerina cookies, wagon wheels, dog treats, assorted buttons, business cards and that weird tomato with pins stuck in it. Blame Grandma. |
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| Chocolate Spiral Tower |
A swirly depiction of the Tower with each floor being a different flavor of white, dark or milk chocolate. WARNING: Over 9000 floors. Might cause nausea. |
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| Lit Tower Phaser |
When there's something strange in your neighborhood... Perfect for stunning, shocking, lighting it up, and of course; groovy spiral raves. |
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| Ale Spit Thrower |
There broods an ale-brewing dragon in the depths beneath the Tower. This flame-thrower spews its fizziest spitfire packing a punch strong enough to take out a man with one loogie. |
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| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
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| The Spiral Towel |
Don't forget to bring a towel! Perhaps THE most important item you should always have with you in the Spiral, especially on fridays. |
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| Towel-Share Trip |
Like a time-share trip, but with towels! So grab a buddy and head off to a towely adventure, yey! |
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| Goggles of Geekery |
Peer through these magical goggles to see the world in all its nerdy glory, spotting any- and everything from hidden Easter eggs in the landscape to secret references in ancient texts. |
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| Moonlight Dagger |
Elegant form, decorated with opal gemstones. Gets an eerie glow at full moon... |
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| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. Its seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
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| Assfuck's Ginger Beer |
After some trial and error, efforts were successful! ..and there may be a finger somewhere in there. Enjoy! |
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| Thinking Cap of Terrible Puns |
Wear this hat, and suddenly you'll find yourself spouting terrible puns and jokes at every opportunity. |
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| Fancy Chocolates |
Woah, that's some fine chocolate! Shaped like exotic animals, potatoes and sailboats! |
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| Celebratory Snack Pack |
It's always good to celebrate a little, and when you do, it's even better to have a snack! Even more reason to celebrate! |
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| Spiral Canoe |
How does a spiral canoe even work? Does it just spin in the water? Wanna be the first to test it..? |
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| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
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| Bibbly Bubble Beer |
The most refreshing holiday beverage! Bursting with cinnamon, a hint of mustard, and tons of bubbles! |
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| Reapers Robe |
Smooth black velvet, lush orange silk lining. Enormous and ominous hood. Silver skull detailing. Endless pockets. Extra swooshy. |
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| Spiral Scythe |
NOT A TOY. Strong Spiralian steel, quenched in the blood of the flushed, decorated with ornate spiral carvings. Glows in the dark. |
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| Spiral Lightsaber |
It's not exactly straight, but it's fabulous. Has a suspiciously hypnotizing effect. |
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| Retro Denim Robe |
Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it. |
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| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
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| Box of Chocolates |
You never know what you're gonna get. Except caramel, there's always some caramel in there. |
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| Helium Megaphone |
Get yourself heard loud and clear! And very high pitched. Meep! |
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| Endless Toilet Paper |
TP the Sparlor! You know who has to clean it up, right?! |
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