| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
281043o |
| A Stiff Drink |
Damn, this is what I needed after the week I had. |
1 |
| Ale Spit Thrower |
There broods an ale-brewing dragon in the depths beneath the Tower. This flame-thrower spews its fizziest spitfire packing a punch strong enough to take out a man with one loogie. |
1 |
| Assfuck's Ginger Beer |
After some trial and error, efforts were successful! ..and there may be a finger somewhere in there. Enjoy! |
1 |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
1 |
| Bibble's Bubbly Babka |
The perfect dessert for any feast with friends! With beautifully bubbling swirls of chocolate, caramel and bibbly goodness. |
1 |
| Bibbly Bubble Beer |
The most refreshing holiday beverage! Bursting with cinnamon, a hint of mustard, and tons of bubbles! |
1 |
| Boo Brew |
Enjoy a pint of the Spiral's finest Halloween ale! Hints of pumpkin, blood, sweat, and tears. Cheers, friend! |
2 |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
1 |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
1 |
| Box of Chocolates |
You never know what you're gonna get. Except caramel, there's always some caramel in there. |
1 |
| Cat Button |
And item that turns the owner into a cat. |
1 |
| Celebratory Snack Pack |
It's always good to celebrate a little, and when you do, it's even better to have a snack! Even more reason to celebrate! |
1 |
| Chocolate Spiral Tower |
A swirly depiction of the Tower with each floor being a different flavor of white, dark or milk chocolate. WARNING: Over 9000 floors. Might cause nausea. |
1 |
| Chrysalis Robe |
Makes you look like whoever you want to be. No refunds if you emerge weirder. |
1 |
| Cosmic Spiral Rucksack |
Sturdy and dagger-proof! Changes color depending on your mood. Pockets and holders for your daggers, robe, even your swiss hot chocolate! Hidden compartment containing a black hole, for.. reasons. |
1 |
| Crystal Skull |
A priceless and pristine skull found in the rubble deep beneath the sewers. It emits a low electric hum and begins glowing when Flushmas is near. Some say it's...alien. |
1 |
| Cursed D20 |
Guaranteed to roll 1s when you need it most |
1 |
| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
1 |
| Dog Button |
An item that turns the owner into a dog. |
1 |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
2 |
| Dracula's Ring |
An extravagant blood red ruby ring. Allows you to walk outside during daytime without bursting into flames. |
1 |
| Earmuffs of Selective Hearing |
Blocks out whining, unwanted feedback, and passive-aggressive suggestions. |
1 |
| Endless Toilet Paper |
TP the Sparlor! You know who has to clean it up, right?! |
1 |
| Excalibur Paper Cutter |
Does not make you royaly, because strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. |
1 |
| Fancy Chocolates |
Woah, that's some fine chocolate! Shaped like exotic animals, potatoes and sailboats! |
1 |
| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
1 |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
1 |
| Goggles of Geekery |
Peer through these magical goggles to see the world in all its nerdy glory, spotting any- and everything from hidden Easter eggs in the landscape to secret references in ancient texts. |
1 |
| Goggles of Selective Perception |
Hide red flags, bad ideas, and awkward exes. |
1 |
| Gore Tex Jacket |
You look like a puffball in that thing! You can barely turn around! But, it's warm. Very warm. Plus, it's GORE TEX! |
1 |
| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. It’s seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
1 |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
1 |
| Helium Megaphone |
Get yourself heard loud and clear! And very high pitched. Meep! |
1 |
| Hexpress-o Shot |
May grant temporary clairvoyance. |
1 |
| High Tin of Cookies |
Cute gingerbread cookies shaped like spirals, covered in frosting & sprinkles. May get you high. |
1 |
| Icarus Travel Kit |
Includes wings, questionable ambition, and SPF 50 |
2 |
| Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
2 |
| Lit Tower Phaser |
When there's something strange in your neighborhood... Perfect for stunning, shocking, lighting it up, and of course; groovy spiral raves. |
1 |
| Moonlight Dagger |
Elegant form, decorated with opal gemstones. Gets an eerie glow at full moon... |
1 |
| Omnitool Replica |
Looks cool. Solves nothing. Satisfies everything. |
1 |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
1 |
| Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster |
Grants stealth by causing observers to momentarily forget your existence. |
3 |
| Portable Hole |
A hole in space-time. Where does it go? Nobody knows. |
1 |
| Potion of Acceptable Social Interactions |
You know why. |
1 |
| Potion of Existential Dread |
Makes you realize the futility of life. Somehow still a popular purchase. |
1 |
| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
1 |
| Potion of Perfect Procrastination |
You’ll finally do nothing, absolutely flawlessly. |
1 |
| Prenta Prouty |
A perfectly geometrical rock, or sorts. The way you feel affects its color. |
1 |
| Prixas Priony |
A strange, beautiful flower whose color depends on the angle you view it. |
1 |
| Probo Praily |
A small, harmless creature with a beautiful shell. It's color reflects the weather. |
1 |
| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
2 |
| Ragnarök Insurance |
Can you afford not to buy it? |
1 |
| Reapers Robe |
Smooth black velvet, lush orange silk lining. Enormous and ominous hood. Silver skull detailing. Endless pockets. Extra swooshy. |
1 |
| Replacement Joints |
Not sure if it will help, but the sign says it will. |
1 |
| Retro Denim Robe |
Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it. |
1 |
| Robe of Infinite Snacks |
Summon a snack at will! Beware: It is unclear where they come from. |
1 |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
1 |
| Scroll of Low-Level Banishment |
Great for mosquitos and minor annoyances, does not work on humans |
1 |
| Scroll of Petty Miracles |
Cures hiccups. Summons tiny rainclouds. |
1 |
| Sidekick Spirit |
The presence of a once flushed friend, always by your side. Summon the Stowerling you miss dearly, or gift this to a friend to always be around them, in the good and the bad. |
1 |
| Sinewy Spiral Sweets |
Crafted in the old laboratory, our mad scientists have finally done it! They've perfected the plag...the, perfect way to make sweets out of...meats! Yum! |
2 |
| Sleep Not Found Cold Brew |
May cause speed typing and the illusion of productivity. |
2 |
| Soothing Spiral Tea |
A bag of the tastiest blend from the Spiral gardens. Hints of spiralian roses, turnips, mustard and steel. You'll be surprised how soothing it is! |
1 |
| Sparkly Glitter Robe |
Shine brighter than your dagger! Multicolored sequins that change color according to your mood. Two pockets, fuzzy lining. |
1 |
| Speedwagon |
Not very speedy, but it sure is a wagon! Uncovered in the attic, and it seems.. It seems it hitches to humans? |
1 |
| Spiral Canoe |
How does a spiral canoe even work? Does it just spin in the water? Wanna be the first to test it..? |
1 |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
1 |
| Spiral Lightsaber |
It's not exactly straight, but it's fabulous. Has a suspiciously hypnotizing effect. |
1 |
| Spiral Scythe |
NOT A TOY. Strong Spiralian steel, quenched in the blood of the flushed, decorated with ornate spiral carvings. Glows in the dark. |
1 |
| Spiral Tower Biscuit Tin |
Filled with ginger crush creams, viennese, ballerina cookies, wagon wheels, dog treats, assorted buttons, business cards and that weird tomato with pins stuck in it. Blame Grandma. |
1 |
| Stealth Dagger 3000 |
Be the stealthiest rogue at any sacrifice. Camouflages into anything you're wearing. Needs no cleaning. |
1 |
| Stuffed Turkey |
His name is Thor, and you gotta put him on a diet, man! He's getting way too chonky, eating lightning and crapping thunder! |
1 |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
1 |
| The Spiral Towel |
Don't forget to bring a towel! Perhaps THE most important item you should always have with you in the Spiral, especially on fridays. |
1 |
| Thinking Cap of Terrible Puns |
Wear this hat, and suddenly you'll find yourself spouting terrible puns and jokes at every opportunity. |
1 |
| Time |
Time is money. |
1 |
| Towel-Share Trip |
Like a time-share trip, but with towels! So grab a buddy and head off to a towely adventure, yey! |
1 |
| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of \"raisins\", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
1 |
| Tower Towel |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
1 |
| Towering Tool Belt |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
1 |
| Tricorder Mini Power Bank |
Scans, stores, and occasionally charges your phone. |
1 |
| Trophy for “Trying Your Best” |
Gold-ish. Heavy with pride. |
1 |
| Valkyrie Wing Clips |
Adds flair and temporary levitation to any hairstyle. |
1 |
| Veles' Beard Oil |
Enhances charm and plausible deniability. |
1 |