| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
181004o |
| Die of Decision-Making |
"Whatever choice you're trying to make, this die can help. Choose evens or odds, high or low, or just try not to roll a one." |
1 |
| A Step to the Ri-i-i-i-ight |
An important step in the process. Use with caution. |
1 |
| American Gothic Painting |
Straight from Rocky Horror's Frankenstein Castle foyer. It's an obvious forgery, but a pretty decent one. |
1 |
| 'I flipped the switch' trolley t-shirt. |
"A t-shirt bearing a picture of a trolley, which indicates your decision-of-choice in that classic ethics dilemma" |
1 |
| Tom Weights |
“Free weights with ends shaped like steeple bells, shoveled coal, crows, or three-headed lions. Heavy as the foundered dreams you’ve left behind or as light as prayers you hope will come. Look good enough to have everyone eyeballin’ you, kid. All you have to do is swing.” |
1 |
| Eddie's Teddy |
Eddie stabbed this one with his switchblade. Leaks stuffing. |
4 |
| Ceiling Pancakes T-shirt |
"Your choice of color. The front simply has the Ceiling Pancake logo while the back says 'Rise and shine with the ceiling pancakes'." |
1 |
| Betty Monroe's Wedding Rice |
Inedible, but good for throwing at weddings. |
3 |
| A Jump to the Left |
It all starts here. May produce odd temporal anomalies if combined with other items. |
2 |
| Frank's Bloody Gloves |
Bloody dish gloves that were used in the preparation of the main course for the night, which was Meat Loaf. |
2 |
| Rocky's Body Oil |
Useful when you want to oil someone up and rub them down down down down. |
2 |
| Floor Show Fishnets |
Fishnet stockings for those who wish to participate in the floor show. One size fits most. Makes you feel sexy. |
1 |
| Narrator's Light UP Globe |
A light up globe of the earth. Useful for making points when narrating or for giving directions to people from another planet. |
1 |
| Brad's Spare Tire |
Badly in need of some air. You definitely don't want to get a blowout in the rain with this useless thing in your trunk/boot. |
1 |
| Columbia's Tap Shoes |
Black. Sparkly. Beautiful. Excellent tap shoes. Warning: Do not use on stairs! |
1 |
| The Pelvic Thrust |
This will really drive you insa-a-a-a-ane. |
1 |
| Vial of Metal |
"A mix of metal powders in a water solution. Everything the local Misting population needs!" |
1 |
| Brad's Tidy Whities |
These are pretty standard white men's briefs. But, they will make the wearer appear dominant. |
1 |
| Transylvanian Elbow Sex Condoms (box of 12) |
For safe elbow sex. The best way to avoid sharing Elbowsexually Transmitted Diseases with your siblings. In our perfect spirally towering world, safe elbow sex is affordable and subsidized. |
47 |
| Eddie's Switchblade |
Makes those whose lives you threaten think, "What a guy!" and then cry. |
1 |
| Ill Intent |
“Diaphanous miasma that will surround you and inspire you to acts of intergalactic sabotage, fight for your rights, or just get it together. Requires proper licensure.” |
1 |
| Janet's Newspaper Hat |
Barely better than nothing for protecting your head in the rain. But, what the hell? It's all you've got. |
92 |
| Poorly Forged Ring |
“A rather lumpy but recognizable ring made of what appears to be gold. Has ‘One Ring’ written on the inside curve in red marker. Will probably scratch you if you try to wear it but that’s about it.” |
69 |
| Sense of Humor |
“Allows you to feel melaina chole, xanthe chole, phlegma, or haima. Not to be confused with the ability to understand jokes, which is priceless.” |
2 |
| Meat Loaf |
Not again! The leftover bits from Frank's dinner party at the Frankenstein Castle. Comes with electric carving knife. |
2 |
| Agave Robe |
“A robe made of the finest saguaro. Requires caution to put on as the needles ensure authenticity. Not legal in Arizona.” |
1 |
| Judgemental dog |
"Oof, it's that side-eye that only dogs can do. He's not angry, just disappointed." |
1 |
| A Bee With a Deadly Sting |
You get a hit and your mind goes ping; |
1 |
| Spiral Supernova |
A delightfully gigormous bouquet of freshly picked flowers from the Spiral gardens. The colors are a feast for the eyes and the scent is almost as lovely as you! |
1 |
| Towering Lollipop |
Boasting a whopping 164cm (3 bald eagles and a coconut), the towering lollipop swirls towards the sky in a colorful spiral, with 58 different flavors and textures! |
3 |
| Soothing Spiral Tea |
A bag of the tastiest blend from the Spiral gardens. Hints of spiralian roses, turnips, mustard and steel. You'll be surprised how soothing it is! |
2 |
| Cursed Envelope |
Having this on you increases your chances of being struck by a flying ice-cream truck. |
1 |
| Inkwell |
It never seems to run dry, but tipping it over doesn't cause a spill. Curious. It writes like a dream, too. |
1 |
| Prenta Prouty |
A perfectly geometrical rock, or sorts. The way you feel affects its color. |
3 |
| Probo Praily |
A small, harmless creature with a beautiful shell. It's color reflects the weather. |
5 |
| Prixas Priony |
A strange, beautiful flower whose color depends on the angle you view it. |
5 |
| Bibble Splushie |
SpiP #001 - The bestest & bibbliest Skit is now your BFF! He's got pockets full of shiny pebbles, and he'll grant you 29 o a day for being so awesome. |
1 |
| Boy Button |
An item that turns the owner into a boy. |
1 |
| Nonpolitical Robe |
Equipped with special spiralian shit- and politics-sensors, this robe will temporarily stun anyone in your vicinity if there is even a whiff of politics, giving you time to flee. Thick velvet lining, a shiny bluish glow, deep pockets and a stash for treats. |
1 |
| Mayo Robe |
I can't believe you bought this even though ad description said 'couldn't get the mayonnaise smell out.' |
1 |
| Aubergine Robe |
A plush purple color with a distinctive scent to it. Slight water-damage but hey, it's vintage, and it's fabulous! |
1 |
| Girl Button |
An item that turns the owner into a into a girl. |
2 |
| Dog Button |
An item that turns the owner into a dog. |
1 |
| Nipple Piercing |
Ow. |
1 |
| Anti-polymorph Protection Emblem |
An item that cancels out a Polymorph Protection Emblem. |
5 |
| Polymorph Protection Emblem |
An item that protects the owner from changing form. |
5 |
| Spam-flavored Milkshake |
No one asked for this. Thats why its here. |
1 |
| Bucket of Booty |
Raisins, bible tracts, circus peanuts and what's that? Oh yes, frog droppings. |
1 |
| PTSD |
Still not enough to park in the handicap spot, though. |
1 |
| Glitter Grenade |
Share your explosive love with your friends, from far away, behind a barricade. |
1 |
| Non-descript Cup |
Definitely not full of your favorite alcohol. Grab a few and give em out to your friends! |
2 |
| Ugly Flushmas Sweater 2025 |
There are so many names stitched into this sweater that it's become illegible. A sore for sight eyes. |
1 |
| Christmas Cracker |
It's a very festive, buttery, delicious cracker. Explosive flavor in every bite. |
1 |
| Hannukah Hat |
It's 8 times as fancy as your fanciest hat. Guaranteed to bring joy. |
1 |
| Endless Spud Splushie |
SpiP #101 - PO-TA-TOES! The goodest little squishy spud. Very apeeling. Don't dip him in yogurt, please. |
1 |
| Mylvee Splushie |
SpiP #104 - hungry. bites you. prions are scary. dinat dinat do. death by glamour. milk. two planets approach the roche limit. bal man. walk don't run. battle for dream island. we are eternal. eepy. |
1 |
| Popy Robe |
Honesty, this might actually be an old pope's robe. White, purple and gold, fancy embroidery, a couple of pockets. Comes with holy water, golden slippers and a fancy hat too! |
1 |
| Plastic Action Dagger |
What every kid (Stowerling) wants for Christmas! Cool buttons that shoot lasers, beep and boop, many flashing lights and a hidden water-spraying gag function! Make all your fellow Stowerlings jealous with this baby! |
1 |
| Teal Silk Robe |
Shiniest Spiralian silk, golden trim, a wonderfully large hood, embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Luxurious Robe |
Made from the plushest velvet known to man, with gold trim and embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Contact Cleaner |
Hey, it works now! |
1 |
| Bioluminescent Robe |
Gives you that fungal glow, without the spores. Probably. |
1 |
| Infinity Dagger |
Never misses. Never dulls. Never stops whispering in your head… |
1 |
| 400 Bad Request client Rooibos |
Sip. Malfunction. Repeat. |
4 |
| Väinämöinen's Pick |
Plucks any instrument perfectly, most of the time, but makes you play Polka when it feels like it. |
1 |
| Cactus Pencil (Mildly Spiky) |
Improves spelling and handwriting via threat. |
1 |
| Veles' Beard Oil |
Enhances charm and plausible deniability. |
3 |
| Pencil Sharpener That Screams Encouragement |
YEAH!! GET IT!! |
1 |
| Zarking Fardwangle Fizzbombs |
Explodes in your mouth. In a good way. Usually. |
2 |
| Maalstr0m Splushie |
SpiP #006 - The strongest plushie around! Dispenses random penis & animal facts. Has pretty beads in his beard. |
1 |
| Cow Says Splushie |
SpiP #238 - The most beautiful bovine of the Tower; cuddly, fluffy, and with lots to say (a gentle boop will do the trick!). Can fly, can write, can't read though. Definitely BFF material! Moo. |
1 |
| Mulberry Splushie |
SpiP #093 - Are you sure you can handle this plushie? It might make you...blushie. Comes with blindfold, whips and beautiful melodies. |
1 |
| Disco Robe |
A mirrorball-like wonder. May cause spontaneous dance-offs, and marriage proposals. |
1 |
| Valkyrie Wing Clips |
Adds flair and temporary levitation to any hairstyle. |
1 |
| Retro Denim Robe |
Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it. |
1 |
| Tricorder Mini Power Bank |
Scans, stores, and occasionally charges your phone. |
1 |
| To-Don't List |
A crumpled scroll of things you should definitely not do. Updates hourly. |
1 |
| Arcade Token of Infinite Continues |
Warning: Doesnt work on real life. |
1 |
| AFK Afternoon Break Blend |
Logout required, cozy socks recommended. |
1 |
| Blessing of Chernobog |
You wont like it, but youll remember it. |
1 |
| Perun's Group Chat Logs |
Just Perun yelling at Veles in all caps. Ends mid-rant. |
3 |
| Woolly Socks of Static |
Zap! |
1 |
| Ring of Continuous Snacking |
Creates a small snack every 10 minutes. Cannot be turned off. |
2 |
| Potion of Moderate Courage |
Face your inbox with only mild panic. |
3 |
| Excalibur Paper Cutter |
Does not make you royaly, because strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. |
1 |
| Hexpress-o Shot |
May grant temporary clairvoyance. |
1 |
| Cyberpunk Visor of Optimistic Nihilism |
See the future in glitchy neon. |
1 |
| 5-pack of Underwear |
Good quality. Some packs come with a secret tie-dye pair. |
2 |
| Anansi's Trickster Deck of Cards |
Shuffles itself. Deals... inconsistently. |
1 |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
4 |
| Sleep Not Found Cold Brew |
May cause speed typing and the illusion of productivity. |
1 |
| NyQuil Night Blend |
For when you REALLY need to sleep. |
2 |
| Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
1 |
| Mostly Harmless Masala Chai |
97% bliss, 3% plausible deniability. |
1 |
| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
2 |
| Scroll of Low-Level Banishment |
Great for mosquitos and minor annoyances, does not work on humans |
3 |
| Potion of Perfect Procrastination |
Youll finally do nothing, absolutely flawlessly. |
1 |
| Scroll of Petty Miracles |
Cures hiccups. Summons tiny rainclouds. |
1 |
| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
5 |
| Scroll of Very Mild Revenge |
Mostly generates passive-aggressive Post-its. |
1 |
| Glasses of Sudden Insight |
Great for exam cramming, terrible for existential dread. |
1 |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
7 |
| Tower Towel |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
1 |
| Potion of Minor Healing (Raspberry Flavor) |
Heals paper cuts, stubbed toes, and mild emotional damage. |
1 |
| Cursed D20 |
Guaranteed to roll 1s when you need it most |
2 |
| Potion of Existential Dread |
Makes you realize the futility of life. Somehow still a popular purchase. |
3 |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
12 |
| Droolcup |
Limited-time accessory! Hunky DTI poster not included. |
1 |
| Spiral Shoes |
Boogie down in the grooviest shoes! Funky colors, luxurious suede, and a silent step. Made for sneaking up silently and dancing the night away. |
1 |
| Future Specs |
These glasses see 1 second into the future. |
1 |
| Antique Chess Pieces |
Luckily none of the pieces are missing. They're in surprisingly good condition. All you need now is a matching board! |
1 |
| Comma |
You never know when you'll need a comma. Yes, it's the fancy kind from Oxford. |
1 |
| Jolly Dagger |
An ornamental double-edged dagger with a gilded blade, red handle, and a big jinglebell-pommel. The double edge makes it perfect for carving ham, cutting up gingerbreadmen and slicing cheeses. Merry daggering! |
1 |
| Colorful Spiral Lights |
Deck the halls, floors and your own window too - in these retro-styled and funky-colored little spiral lights! Very cheerful, super cozy. |
1 |
| Cliffy's Festive Froggies |
It is FLUSHmas, my dudes. |
1 |
| Kiro's Kandy Kanes |
These aren't your ordinary candy canes! Not only do they have the delicious twisting pattern, but they'll twist your tongue too! Guaranteed you'll be speaking in tongues, but it's worth it. |
1 |
| Derpy's Derpy Deers |
Little Derpy has been baking away, and here's a tin of the derpiest little reindeer-cookies ever! Almost too derpy to eat, no? They're so adorable! |
1 |
| Squishy Tentacles of Cheer |
Like a squish in pastry form! Baked with love by a thousand tentacles, quite quickly too! Squishy texture, creamy filling, and sprinkles on top, of course. Qam oou iilth ez i awtgsshu amun on'ma! |
2 |
| Muscly Gingerbreadmen |
Ma'am has been baking too, how do you think he got those muscles?! Here's proof, a tin of delicious little muscle-ma'ams, yum! |
1 |
| Spiral Jinglebell |
Attached to any garment, the jingle you create will absolutely dazzle those nearby. Perfect for hypnotizing just about anyone, or just getting jiggy with it! |
1 |
| Sparkly Spiral Turds |
Don't let the name fool you, the chocolate is top notch and the decorations are masterful! Eating more than two at a time might make you unusually giddy. |
1 |
| Jingly Spiral Ornament |
A softly jingling golden little memento of celebrating Christmas 2024 in the Spiral Tower. |
2 |
| A Random Nog |
The ingredients may be a bit blurry, but don't worry, so will you. Just keep enjoying! |
1 |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
1 |
| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
1 |
| Pink Rockin' Robe |
Blindingy HOT pink velvet with an irresistibly silky lining and more pockets than you'll ever need! Perfect for collecting things and storing treasure. Turns into a pillow when needed. |
1 |
| Fluffy Mug |
Almost looks like a pet! You cannot tell exactly where to pour your drink, so it's best to just wing it, and suck the beverage off the tufts of fluff. Yum! |
1 |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
1 |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
2 |
| Preserved Pumpkin Pie |
A prehistoric slice of presumptuously poignant pumpkin pie, found in the sealed-off kitchen underneath the Spiral fields. It has a kick to it! Don't operate heavy machinery under the influence of this pie. |
1 |
| Hunky DTI Costume |
Be the man himself! Banhammer, yorkshire pudding and english accent included. |
1 |
| Sheet |
You're the ghost of the Sparlor now! OooOooOo |
1 |
| Spiral Restaurant Guide |
Where to eat? Which floor serves barbecued cucumbers? Floor pizza? What about second breakfast? With this comprehensive guide to the delicacies of the tower by ReactsWithWords, you'll never go hungry again! |
1 |
| Bag of Spiral Delight |
This delicious assortment of candy includes: sour spirals, liquorice towers, DTI's dynamites, marshmallow Ma'ams, flushdrops, sinful squishies, bibble bubbles, musky mulberries, gummy snakes, salty daggers, tooting potatoes and fizzy frogs. |
2 |
| Towering Tulips |
The most gorgeous tulips from the Spiral gardens, grown with that special....fertilizer. Intoxicating scent, may cause hallucinations. Colors as bright as your presence, as strong as your spirit. Wow! |
2 |
| Bubble Robe |
How...how does it even stay together? The bubbles won't break. It's mesmerizing. |
1 |
| Magicked Notebook |
When you look at a page, it transcribes the notes you want to take automatically. Sometimes it's a little eager, though, and will write down stuff you wanted to keep secret. |
1 |
| Lovely Lactase Pills |
An easy to chew and swallow pill. Eradicates your intolerance. Not just for milk, though. |
1 |
| Sunday Sundae |
A declicious assortment of your favorite ice cream flavors, magically topped with your favorite toppings, if any. There's a special 'Tower' flavor, if you're so bold to try. |
2 |
| Proper Gourmet Hotdog |
Hot DOG this was good. Great for any day of the week. |
1 |
| Fabulous Bouquet |
Absolutley beautifully arranged bouquet. Anyone receiving one would surely be flattered. |
1 |
| Time |
Time is money. |
1 |
| Spiral Tower Biscuit Tin |
Filled with ginger crush creams, viennese, ballerina cookies, wagon wheels, dog treats, assorted buttons, business cards and that weird tomato with pins stuck in it. Blame Grandma. |
2 |
| Cosmic Spiral Rucksack |
Sturdy and dagger-proof! Changes color depending on your mood. Pockets and holders for your daggers, robe, even your swiss hot chocolate! Hidden compartment containing a black hole, for.. reasons. |
2 |
| Corndog Splushie |
SpiP #121 - Your very own cute little IMDB! Poke gently for the best movie recommendations for every mood and genre. If you watch The Excorcist though, please cuddle the little Corndog tightly. Brings the BEST snacks and trivia. |
2 |
| Teeny Tiny Tussie Mussie |
The finest of flowers, so colorful and small. No words are needed, for the flowers say it all. |
1 |
| Classy Dagger |
Finest Damascus steel, golden spiraly details, inscribed with your number. Perfect for sacrifices. |
1 |
| Lit Tower Phaser |
When there's something strange in your neighborhood... Perfect for stunning, shocking, lighting it up, and of course; groovy spiral raves. |
1 |
| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
4 |
| Sinewy Spiral Sweets |
Crafted in the old laboratory, our mad scientists have finally done it! They've perfected the plag...the, perfect way to make sweets out of...meats! Yum! |
3 |
| Stower Pelt Hair |
What a pelt! So beautiful! Warm! Thick! Lustrous! Cuddly! Burly! What animal is it from? That's.. That's besides the point. Just look at it! |
1 |
| Tinned Tower Tuna Treats |
Whether you're on the verge of starvation, a cat owner, or craving a spiral delicacy, these nutrient packed fishy treats will hit the spot! With a shelf-life of over 3028 years, you can really savour them. |
2 |
| Waterpot Relish |
Lush and soaked relish from the oasis gardens of the Tower. Perfect for any dish, wish or fish. Holds some magic powers. Maybe. |
1 |
| Eel Worship Tart |
The traditional holy dish of the Spiral Tower. Served and offered at every special event, birthday, holiday and sacrifice. Shall NOT be yucked, chucked or disrespected. 'Tis sacred. |
1 |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
2 |
| Bag o' Tricks |
Full of nefarious goodies. Maybe it has something that will help you steal an item off of someone else. |
2 |
| Handmade Card |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
4 |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
6 |
| Fancy Spiral Bouquet |
A stunning bouquet of gorgeous roses from the Tower gardens, colorful Spiral hydrangeas and scented hyacinths. |
1 |
| Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention |
These gloves not only give you a firm grip on stuff and things, in general, but also draw attention with their eye-catching sequin design. Matching it with the Cloak of Concealment will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
1 |
| Spiral Rug Cutters |
Suede soles, beautiful wallflower-pattern, 1 inch heels, indestructible toes for dancing with beginners or kicking pipes, and ventilation to avert foot stench for up to 8h. |
1 |
| Cloak of Concealment |
This cloak doesn't just hide you from sight – it also makes you completely forgettable! Perfect for avoiding awkward conversations, and generally blending into the background. Matching it with the Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
1 |
| Octarine Lollipop |
Each eighth lick tastes like a different kind of chaos. |
2 |
| Fairy Dust Pop Rocks |
Makes you sparkle. |
1 |
| Tongue-twisting Tome of Tenacious Tongues |
This tongue-in-cheek book, possibly mocking the writers almost perverse tendency to alliterate, is perfect for practicing your pronunciation or challenging your friends to a duel of diction. |
1 |
| Giggle Gummy Bears |
Bursts into fits of barely controlled laughter when you bite into it. Has the same effect on you in approximately 30 minutes later. |
1 |
| Spongy Dagger |
Shhh! It's foam! Don't tell anyone! Looks super real, and is handy when you're just not feelin' it and ain't really in a sacrificin' mood, but don't wanna be left out or a party pooper. |
1 |
| Latex Robe |
High collar, shiny, squeaky and sleek. Attend all sacrifices like sex on a stick. |
1 |
| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. Its seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
1 |
| Compass of Wayfinding and Fine Wine-ing |
This mystical compass always points you towards the nearest tavern. But beware, the more lost you are, the stronger its pull towards the pub becomes! |
1 |
| Pocket-sized Port-a-Portal Parchment |
This magical parchment, paired with a crayon of your choice, allows adventurers to create temporary portals to different levels of the endless tower. |
1 |
| 4/20 |
Blazin' |
1 |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
9 |
| Candy Apples |
Straight from the appletree atop the Tower! Dipped in sticky-sweet caramel and topped with delicious sprinkles. |
1 |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
1 |
| Potatoes |
PO-TA-TOES. |
1 |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
9 |
| Jellybeans of Joy |
A humongous bag of colorful little jellybeans, that may or may not be laced with something.. Try one! You'll be ecstatic! |
1 |
| Floor Floosher 4000 |
Syrup on your ceiling? Pesky slices of pizza on the floor? Not anymore! Your personal Floor Floosher can clean your floor in under 94 hours! |
3 |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
1 |
| Party Robe |
Colorful, charming and utterly cool. Tailored to your perfect measurements, unbelievably flattering and dapper! Get your groove on at any party or sacrifice. |
1 |
| Spartan Monkey Splushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
1 |
| Towering Tool Belt |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
3 |
| Crate of Carrots |
Feed of the champions. The number one snacky choice of the number one strongman of the Spiral Tower. Guaranteed crunch! Munch! |
1 |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
1 |
| Pop Tarts 5000 |
The ultimate pack of Pop Tarts! 5000 unique flavors, including: pickles, sunday roast, pears, toes and mulch! Yum! |
1 |
| Spiral Slippers |
Fluffy, soft and oh so warm. They're blood-proof, checkered and very silent to walk in as well. |
1 |
| Hugbox |
Tired of debates? Need a cuddly break? Retreat into your own cozy Hugbox, built and trademarked by Jean Claude Van Ma'am. Fits three. |
1 |
| Safari Scott Splushie |
SpiP #013 - Equipped with full safari-gear and all kinds of wild tales of epic adventures! |
2 |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
6 |
| Holy Water Bottle |
Quench your sinful thoughts or scold your demonic pals with water blessed by the Rudest of Ministers, the Pastor Sarcastor. |
1 |
| Offensive Costume |
How dare you wear something like that?! |
1 |
| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of \"raisins\", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
3 |
| How To Spiral 101 |
What is this place? What do the numbers mean? Help, I got flushed? Find weird answers for all your questions! |
3 |
| Huh Splushie |
SpiP #835 - He's got pockets full of bacteria, and he ain't afraid to use 'em! Plays a tiny guitar at random times. You better applaud.. |
1 |
| Child-made Lemonade |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
2 |
| Sacrificial Spiral Shank |
Simple. Sharp. Efficient. Oooh! It has Spirals too! |
1 |
| Pizza Pie Dagger |
The true multi-purpose dagger for all your sacrificial, pizza slicin' and pie cuttin' needs! |
1 |
| Sustainable Robe |
Stitched together from pre-owned pieces of fabrics gathered from flushed sacrifices. |
1 |