| 1408 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Sustainable Robe |
Stitched together from pre-owned pieces of fabrics gathered from flushed sacrifices. |
| Pizza Pie Dagger |
The true multi-purpose dagger for all your sacrificial, pizza slicin' and pie cuttin' needs! |
| Sacrificial Spiral Shank |
Simple. Sharp. Efficient. Oooh! It has Spirals too! |
| Child-made Lemonade |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
| Huh Splushie |
SpiP #835 - He's got pockets full of bacteria, and he ain't afraid to use 'em! Plays a tiny guitar at random times. You better applaud.. |
| How To Spiral 101 |
What is this place? What do the numbers mean? Help, I got flushed? Find weird answers for all your questions! |
| Tower Rations x3 |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of "raisins", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
| Offensive Costume |
How dare you wear something like that?! |
| Holy Water Bottle |
Quench your sinful thoughts or scold your demonic pals with water blessed by the Rudest of Ministers, the Pastor Sarcastor. |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster x3 |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| Safari Scott Splushie |
SpiP #013 - Equipped with full safari-gear and all kinds of wild tales of epic adventures! |
| Hugbox |
Tired of debates? Need a cuddly break? Retreat into your own cozy Hugbox, built and trademarked by Jean Claude Van Ma'am. Fits three. |
| Spiral Slippers |
Fluffy, soft and oh so warm. They're blood-proof, checkered and very silent to walk in as well. |
| Pop Tarts 5000 |
The ultimate pack of Pop Tarts! 5000 unique flavors, including: pickles, sunday roast, pears, toes and mulch! Yum! |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
| Crate of Carrots |
Feed of the champions. The number one snacky choice of the number one strongman of the Spiral Tower. Guaranteed crunch! Munch! |
| Towering Tool Belt x2 |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
| Spartan Monkey Splushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
| Party Robe |
Colorful, charming and utterly cool. Tailored to your perfect measurements, unbelievably flattering and dapper! Get your groove on at any party or sacrifice. |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
| Floor Floosher 4000 x2 |
Syrup on your ceiling? Pesky slices of pizza on the floor? Not anymore! Your personal Floor Floosher can clean your floor in under 94 hours! |
| Jellybeans of Joy |
A humongous bag of colorful little jellybeans, that may or may not be laced with something.. Try one! You'll be ecstatic! |
| Emotional Support x9 |
There for you, friend. |
| Potatoes |
PO-TA-TOES. |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
| Candy Apples |
Straight from the appletree atop the Tower! Dipped in sticky-sweet caramel and topped with delicious sprinkles. |
| Free Hugs x8 |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
| 4/20 |
Blazin' |
| Pocket-sized Port-a-Portal Parchment |
This magical parchment, paired with a crayon of your choice, allows adventurers to create temporary portals to different levels of the endless tower. |
| Compass of Wayfinding and Fine Wine-ing |
This mystical compass always points you towards the nearest tavern. But beware, the more lost you are, the stronger its pull towards the pub becomes! |
| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. It’s seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
| Latex Robe |
High collar, shiny, squeaky and sleek. Attend all sacrifices like sex on a stick. |
| Spongy Dagger |
Shhh! It's foam! Don't tell anyone! Looks super real, and is handy when you're just not feelin' it and ain't really in a sacrificin' mood, but don't wanna be left out or a party pooper. |
| Giggle Gummy Bears |
Bursts into fits of barely controlled laughter when you bite into it. Has the same effect on you in approximately 30 minutes later. |
| Tongue-twisting Tome of Tenacious Tongues |
This tongue-in-cheek book, possibly mocking the writer’s almost perverse tendency to alliterate, is perfect for practicing your pronunciation or challenging your friends to a duel of diction. |
| Fairy Dust Pop Rocks |
Makes you sparkle. |
| Octarine Lollipop |
Each eight lick tastes like a different kind of chaos. |
| Cloak of Concealment |
This cloak doesn't just hide you from sight – it also makes you completely forgettable! Perfect for avoiding awkward conversations, and generally blending into the background. Matching it with the Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
| Spiral Rug Cutters |
Suede soles, beautiful wallflower-pattern, 1 inch heels, indestructible toes for dancing with beginners or kicking pipes, and ventilation to avert foot stench for up to 8h. |
| Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention |
These gloves not only give you a firm grip on stuff and things, in general, but also draw attention with their eye-catching sequin design. Matching it with the Cloak of Concealment will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
| Fancy Spiral Bouquet |
A stunning bouquet of gorgeous roses from the Tower gardens, colorful Spiral hydrangeas and scented hyacinths. |
| Hunky DTI Poster x3 |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
| Handmade Card x4 |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
| Bag o' Tricks |
Full of nefarious goodies. Maybe it has something that will help you steal an item off of someone else. |
| Lore Whip Taters x2 |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
| Eel Worship Tart |
The traditional holy dish of the Spiral Tower. Served and offered at every special event, birthday, holiday and sacrifice. Shall NOT be yucked, chucked or disrespected. 'Tis sacred. |
| Waterpot Relish |
Lush and soaked relish from the oasis gardens of the Tower. Perfect for any dish, wish or fish. Holds some magic powers. Maybe. |
| Tinned Tower Tuna Treats |
Whether you're on the verge of starvation, a cat owner, or craving a spiral delicacy, these nutrient packed fishy treats will hit the spot! With a shelf-life of over 3028 years, you can really savour them. |
| Stower Pelt Hair |
What a pelt! So beautiful! Warm! Thick! Lustrous! Cuddly! Burly! What animal is it from? That's.. That's besides the point. Just look at it! |
| Sinewy Spiral Sweets |
Crafted in the old laboratory, our mad scientists have finally done it! They've perfected the plag...the, perfect way to make sweets out of...meats! Yum! |
| Feels x4 |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
| Lit Tower Phaser |
When there's something strange in your neighborhood... Perfect for stunning, shocking, lighting it up, and of course; groovy spiral raves. |
| Classy Dagger |
Finest Damascus steel, golden spiraly details, inscribed with your number. Perfect for sacrifices. |
| Teeny Tiny Tussie Mussie |
The finest of flowers, so colorful and small. No words are needed, for the flowers say it all. |
| Corndog Splushie x2 |
SpiP #121 - Your very own cute little IMDB! Poke gently for the best movie recommendations for every mood and genre. If you watch The Excorcist though, please cuddle the little Corndog tightly. Brings the BEST snacks and trivia. |
| Cosmic Spiral Rucksack |
Sturdy and dagger-proof! Changes color depending on your mood. Pockets and holders for your daggers, robe, even your swiss hot chocolate! Hidden compartment containing a black hole, for.. reasons. |
| Spiral Tower Biscuit Tin |
Filled with ginger crush creams, viennese, ballerina cookies, wagon wheels, dog treats, assorted buttons, business cards and that weird tomato with pins stuck in it. Blame Grandma. |
| Time |
Time is money. |
| Fabulous Bouquet |
Absolutley beautifully arranged bouquet. Anyone receiving one would surely be flattered. |
| Proper Gourmet Hotdog |
Hot DOG this was good. Great for any day of the week. |
| Sunday Sundae |
A declicious assortment of your favorite ice cream flavors, magically topped with your favorite toppings, if any. There's a special 'Tower' flavor, if you're so bold to try. |
| Lovely Lactase Pills |
An easy to chew and swallow pill. Eradicates your intolerance. Not just for milk, though. |
| Magicked Notebook |
When you look at a page, it transcribes the notes you want to take automatically. Sometimes it's a little eager, though, and will write down stuff you wanted to keep secret. |
| Bubble Robe |
How...how does it even stay together? The bubbles won't break. It's mesmerizing. |
| Towering Tulips x2 |
The most gorgeous tulips from the Spiral gardens, grown with that special....fertilizer. Intoxicating scent, may cause hallucinations. Colors as bright as your presence, as strong as your spirit. Wow! |
| Bag of Spiral Delight |
This delicious assortment of candy includes: sour spirals, liquorice towers, DTI's dynamites, marshmallow Ma'ams, flushdrops, sinful squishies, bibble bubbles, musky mulberries, gummy snakes, salty daggers, tooting potatoes and fizzy frogs. |
| Spiral Restaurant Guide |
Where to eat? Which floor serves barbecued cucumbers? Floor pizza? What about second breakfast? With this comprehensive guide to the delicacies of the tower by ReactsWithWords, you'll never go hungry again! |
| Sheet |
You're the ghost of the Sparlor now! OooOooOo |
| Hunky DTI Costume |
Be the man himself! Banhammer, yorkshire pudding and english accent included. |
| Preserved Pumpkin Pie |
A prehistoric slice of presumptuously poignant pumpkin pie, found in the sealed-off kitchen underneath the Spiral fields. It has a kick to it! Don't operate heavy machinery under the influence of this pie. |
| Haunted Spiral Coin x2 |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
| Fluffy Mug |
Almost looks like a pet! You cannot tell exactly where to pour your drink, so it's best to just wing it, and suck the beverage off the tufts of fluff. Yum! |
| Pink Rockin' Robe |
Blindingy HOT pink velvet with an irresistibly silky lining and more pockets than you'll ever need! Perfect for collecting things and storing treasure. Turns into a pillow when needed. |
| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
| A Random Nog |
The ingredients may be a bit blurry, but don't worry, so will you. Just keep enjoying! |
| Jingly Spiral Ornament x2 |
A softly jingling golden little memento of celebrating Christmas 2024 in the Spiral Tower. |
| Sparkly Spiral Turds |
Don't let the name fool you, the chocolate is top notch and the decorations are masterful! Eating more than two at a time might make you unusually giddy. |
| Spiral Jinglebell |
Attached to any garment, the jingle you create will absolutely dazzle those nearby. Perfect for hypnotizing just about anyone, or just getting jiggy with it! |
| Muscly Gingerbreadmen |
Ma'am has been baking too, how do you think he got those muscles?! Here's proof, a tin of delicious little muscle-ma'ams, yum! |
| Squishy Tentacles of Cheer x2 |
Like a squish in pastry form! Baked with love by a thousand tentacles, quite quickly too! Squishy texture, creamy filling, and sprinkles on top, of course. Qam oou iilth ez i awtgsshu amun on'ma! |
| Derpy's Derpy Deers |
Little Derpy has been baking away, and here's a tin of the derpiest little reindeer-cookies ever! Almost too derpy to eat, no? They're so adorable! |
| Kiro's Kandy Kanes |
These aren't your ordinary candy canes! Not only do they have the delicious twisting pattern, but they'll twist your tongue too! Guaranteed you'll be speaking in tongues, but it's worth it. |
| Cliffy's Festive Froggies |
It is FLUSHmas, my dudes. |
| Colorful Spiral Lights |
Deck the halls, floors and your own window too - in these retro-styled and funky-colored little spiral lights! Very cheerful, super cozy. |
| Jolly Dagger |
An ornamental double-edged dagger with a gilded blade, red handle, and a big jinglebell-pommel. The double edge makes it perfect for carving ham, cutting up gingerbreadmen and slicing cheeses. Merry daggering! |
| Comma |
You never know when you'll need a comma. Yes, it's the fancy kind from Oxford. |