| 1512 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| FLUSH! T-Shirt |
I SURVIVED THE FLUSH AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET THIS T-SHIRT, I BOUGHT IT! |
| Luxurious Robe |
Made from the plushest velvet known to man, with gold trim and embroidered with your number. |
| Spiral Ring |
The most beautiful Spiralian silver with mustard crystals. Has calming, healing, delicious and cozy properties. |
| Knife Pen |
Honestly this knife doesn't write very well, but it'll open your letters, and probably your palm. |
| Pen Knife |
This pen probably isn't mightier than a sword, but at least you can sign your name with it.. In blood. |
| Bag o' Tricks |
Full of nefarious goodies. Maybe it has something that will help you steal an item off of someone else. |
| Cookie Cannon |
Make cookies, not organ donations!! |
| Child-made Lemonade |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
| Droolcup |
Limited-time accessory! Hunky DTI poster not included. |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
| Pills |
Discarded bag of colorful pills, found underneath the floorboards of the Tower Library. |
| Towering Tool Belt |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
| Commemorative Eggplant |
'Member when the Tower flooded with eggplants? I 'member. |
| Fuzzy Maal Wall Rug |
Garish and captivating, extra fuzzy, massively muscly and decorated with sparkly beads. Hand-woven by skilled tentacles. Also doubles as a warm quilt. |
| Shiny Spiral Ornament |
I celebrated christmas 2023 in the Tower! Just don't tell anyone what I did at the Christmas party.. |
| Assfuck Platter |
No, it doesn't taste like ass! It's a wholeheartedly fucked platter of absolute deliciousness! |
| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of "raisins", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
| Boat of Beans |
Bath time will never be boring again! Turn your dull bathwater into a delicious soup and sail away with your fancy and edible bath-time-boat! |
| Stealth Sandals |
Comfort, cunning and stealth. Extremely lightweight and comfy sandals for all your towering needs. They'll never hear you sneaking in these! |
| Poooooorridge |
How many o's are in a porridge? So many, you can't eat this porridge without going OOOOOOO! |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
| Party Apples |
They're totally groovy and always jammin'! Please don't eat them, as they rematerialize almost instantly. That's not a groovy time for you. |
| Curious Caterpillar |
Quite the inexpensive little buddy! Travels in your pocket and asks lots of questions. |
| Potatoes |
PO-TA-TOES. |
| Edible Plastic |
After all, why shouldn't you eat it? |
| Weird Pretzels |
The lye ain't no lie! But they are suspiciously delicuous. |
| Octarine Lollipop |
Each eight lick tastes like a different kind of chaos. |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
| Tongue-twisting Tome of Tenacious Tongues |
This tongue-in-cheek book, possibly mocking the writer’s almost perverse tendency to alliterate, is perfect for practicing your pronunciation or challenging your friends to a duel of diction. |
| Handmade Card |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
| Lip-Teeth Arrows |
Honestly? The most disgusting weapon. Dug out from an old locker in that one room, you know? You know the room. Shoot someone with this and if the wound doesn't kill them, the horror will. |
| Towel-Share Trip |
Like a time-share trip, but with towels! So grab a buddy and head off to a towely adventure, yey! |
| Fairy Dust Pop Rocks |
Makes you sparkle. |
| Argyle Ascot |
Attractive accessories are altogether appropriate, and always ardently appreciated. |
| Spiral Chandelier |
Classy yet narcaleptically inhospitable. |
| Magicked Notebook x2 |
When you look at a page, it transcribes the notes you want to take automatically. Sometimes it's a little eager, though, and will write down stuff you wanted to keep secret. |
| Lovely Lactase Pills |
An easy to chew and swallow pill. Eradicates your intolerance. Not just for milk, though. |
| Sunday Sundae |
A declicious assortment of your favorite ice cream flavors, magically topped with your favorite toppings, if any. There's a special 'Tower' flavor, if you're so bold to try. |
| Hefty Ceramic Mug |
Fired in the hellfire below the tower, this massive mug will serve as a daily workout as you sip your favourite beverage or sacrificial wine. |
| Bag of Spiral Delight |
This delicious assortment of candy includes: sour spirals, liquorice towers, DTI's dynamites, marshmallow Ma'ams, flushdrops, sinful squishies, bibble bubbles, musky mulberries, gummy snakes, salty daggers, tooting potatoes and fizzy frogs. |
| Braaaaaaains |
The less questions you ask, the better. Very nutritious, despite the low IQ. |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
| Fine Spiral Cufflinks |
Pure gold, mined from the depths underneath the Sparlor. Be the best dressed gent at every YEET. |
| A Random Nog |
The ingredients may be a bit blurry, but don't worry, so will you. Just keep enjoying! |
| Jingly Spiral Ornament |
A softly jingling golden little memento of celebrating Christmas 2024 in the Spiral Tower. |
| Squishy Tentacles of Cheer |
Like a squish in pastry form! Baked with love by a thousand tentacles, quite quickly too! Squishy texture, creamy filling, and sprinkles on top, of course. Qam oou iilth ez i awtgsshu amun on'ma! |
| Velvet Curtains |
Luxurious, heavy, and sure to keep the light out of your room. |