| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
723883.5o |
| Aviar |
"A little bird companion. Some say they grant great gifts." |
1 |
| Vial of Metal |
"A mix of metal powders in a water solution. Everything the local Misting population needs!" |
1 |
| Honorblade |
"A sword that slices through solid rock with ease and leaves the eyes of those slain by it burnt out." |
1 |
| Roshar |
"A Planet where everything has a spirit, and an ever vigilant God grants mighty powers" |
1 |
| Perun's Group Chat Logs |
Just Perun yelling at Veles in all caps. Ends mid-rant. |
1 |
| Fox Girl |
You think that just because you purchased me I belong to you? Fool. You'd be so lucky that I let you wash my clothes. |
1 |
| Prenta Prouty |
A perfectly geometrical rock, or sorts. The way you feel affects its color. |
1 |
| Probo Praily |
A small, harmless creature with a beautiful shell. It's color reflects the weather. |
1 |
| Prixas Priony |
A strange, beautiful flower whose color depends on the angle you view it. |
1 |
| Secret Weapon |
It's not really a weapon, but rather a new trick up your sleeve. 60% of the time, it works every time. |
1 |
| Cat Button |
And item that turns the owner into a cat. |
1 |
| Chronomancy Watch |
This broken clock is right 5 times a day. |
1 |
| 7 Star Dragon Ball |
They say if you collect all 7, you are granted one wish. |
1 |
| Holiday Halberd |
The craftsmanship is immaculate. Cut down your enemies with cheer! |
1 |
| Ugly Flushmas Sweater 2025 |
There are so many names stitched into this sweater that it's become illegible. A sore for sight eyes. |
1 |
| Endless Hourglass |
Sand falls without fail, but it never finishes, and never fills. No matter which way you turn it. |
1 |
| Baby |
Still fresh, if you wanted to know the freshness of the baby. |
1 |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
2 |
| Sunscreen That Smells Like Confidence |
SPF 50 and ego boost included. |
1 |
| Portable Wave in a Bucket |
Crashy. Soothing. Self-contained. |
1 |
| Arcade Token of Infinite Continues |
Warning: Doesnt work on real life. |
1 |
| Ineffable Robe of Bureaucratic Invisibility |
Makes you entirely unnoticeable to any government agency. Including the tax office. |
1 |
| Nondescript Box Marked 'Definitely Not a Mimic' |
Contains either loot or teeth. Sometimes both. |
1 |
| Scroll of Petty Miracles |
Cures hiccups. Summons tiny rainclouds. |
1 |
| Tiny Stargate Desk Model |
Dial responsibly. No dial-home device included. |
1 |
| Chronos' Broken Watch |
Still tick-tocks menacingly. |
1 |
| Cloak of Dramatic Billowing |
Just epic flair. Perfect for grand entrances and exits alike. |
1 |
| Potion of Minor Healing (Raspberry Flavor) |
Heals paper cuts, stubbed toes, and mild emotional damage. |
1 |
| Portable Hole |
A hole in space-time. Where does it go? Nobody knows. |
1 |
| Cyberpunk Neural Link |
Jack in. Hunt and get hunted by megacorporations. The future is now! |
1 |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
1 |
| Green Meteor |
It might actually just be an angry apple. You need a telescope. |
1 |
| Jupiter |
It's a pretty moony planet. It has 95 known moons. No, you don't get them, too. |
1 |
| Mitt Splushie |
SpiP #911 - Who you gonna call? MITTHRAWNURUO! Solid as a rock. Poke at your own risk. Comes with a very peculiar arsenal and first-aid kit. |
1 |
| .5 sud |
Forever cursed to have an uneven balance. Surprised a sud is worth anything still. Let alone half of one. |
1 |
| Spiral Herbs of Warmth |
A special selection of the finest seasonal spiral herbs, only harvested during Christmas-time. May cause extraordinary niceness and warm fuzzy feels when added to any dish, or sprinkled on a friend. |
1 |
| Kiro's Kandy Kanes |
These aren't your ordinary candy canes! Not only do they have the delicious twisting pattern, but they'll twist your tongue too! Guaranteed you'll be speaking in tongues, but it's worth it. |
1 |
| Jingly Spiral Ornament |
A softly jingling golden little memento of celebrating Christmas 2024 in the Spiral Tower. |
1 |
| 88 Proof Rootbeer |
Will knock your socks off, and your number-neighbor's socks too, honestly. Be careful! |
1 |
| Planet of the Grapes |
A planet where grapes evolved from men? There's got to be an answer. |
1 |
| Spiral Restaurant Guide |
Where to eat? Which floor serves barbecued cucumbers? Floor pizza? What about second breakfast? With this comprehensive guide to the delicacies of the tower by ReactsWithWords, you'll never go hungry again! |
1 |
| Jaws |
Chew through anything! Even a boat! I mean, people use dentures and no one bats an eye. Why not jaws? |
1 |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
1 |
| Seal Splushie v2 |
SpiP #011 - This sweet and slippery companion will be tough to squish! Thrives basking in sunlight, preferably in a cool spot. Might provide you with ice for your drinks if you take him bathing! Bucket of fish included. |
1 |
| Gemini |
A far off planet inhabited by people ruining the universe. |
1 |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
1 |
| LV-426 |
An air of darkness surrounds this shadowy and rough planet. Strong howling winds, sharp black terrain, and the feeling that something is not RIGHT. Sigourney Weaver not included. |
1 |
| The Wire Portals |
Careful! Teleports you anywhere your heart desires, allowing easy access throughout the Tower, but.. Instead of the usual pain-free disintegration, you get sliced to pieces by wires and reassembled. Ouch..unless you're into that. |
1 |
| One Ring to Rule the Remote |
This enchanted ring grants the wearer dominion over all television remotes, ensuring they never have to argue over what to watch again. Just be careful not to get too attached to it – power corrupts, after all. |
1 |
| Portable Garage |
What will you use it for? Cars, coolers, or a cabbage store? Folds up into the size of an orange! |
1 |
| Everlasting Inkwell and Quill |
This enchanted inkwell never runs out of ink, making it the perfect tool for mapping out the ever-changing labyrinth of the endless tower. |
1 |
| Azure Dagger |
Glistens like lightning and glows when it rains. Forged from the finest blue Spiralian Steel. |
1 |
| Dominating Obelisk |
It's.. It's.. Something, alright. Big and formidable, that's for sure. |
1 |
| Conspiracy Theories |
Why are there 2 Scotts? Why is it called the fl-USHER? What does DTI REALLY stand for?! Tinfoil hat included. |
1 |
| Retro Spiral Games |
Includes the classics: Super Spiral Bros II, Commander Scott, Crash Bibblycoot, Nylock Speed Racing and Kiro Kart |
1 |
| Spartan Monkey Splushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
1 |
| Nuclear HAZMAT Suit |
Extremely resistant to radiation. Not at all resistant to stabbing. |
1 |
| Snakes' Eternal Drink |
A magically perpetual drink of ever-changing delicious flavor. Never go thirsty again with this snakey concoction. |
1 |
| Assassin's Blade |
Will definitely get the job done. Quick as a shadow, light as a feather, cool as a cucumber. Swoosh! |
1 |
| Chocolate Kiro |
Valentines Day is coming! And what could be cuter and sweeter than a little chocolate Kiro! Made from organic Spiral Chocolate! |
1 |
| Spiral Speech Decoder |
Decodes and scrambles Spiral-related speech. Good for inter-tower secret messaging, or for figuring out what the hell everyone's talking about. |
1 |
| Shiny Spiral Ornament |
I celebrated christmas 2023 in the Tower! Just don't tell anyone what I did at the Christmas party.. |
1 |
| A Solar Melange |
An array of delicacies from all over the Tower, blessed and enhanced by spiraly solar forces |
1 |
| Floor Pancake |
In all of history, not once has a single ceiling pancake dropped to the floor. This one did. The flavor is unmatched. |
1 |
| Commemorative Eggplant |
'Member when the Tower flooded with eggplants? I 'member. |
1 |
| Commemorative Pumpkin |
I celebrated Halloween in the Tower 2023! BOO! |
1 |
| Lucifer Splushie |
SpiP #666 - Our tiny overlord in all his glory! Pitchfork, hellfire and evil plans included. Only available on Halloween. |
1 |
| 55 Cancri-E |
Also known as Hell Planet, this celestial body covered in fiery oceans of lava has been sending out mysterious signals for decades.. |
1 |
| Bucket List |
An epic list of different types of buckets. |
1 |
| Tamagotchi Planet |
It's 5 galaxies away from Earth. Look it up! |
1 |
| Tortopia |
A planet full of turtles. They've made great strides in the fields of science and swimming. |
1 |
| Revesvans Splushie |
SpiP #202 - Handsomely clad in his traditional norwegian Bunad! Writes wickedly awesome fantasy novels for you, signed copies, of course. |
2 |
| Personal Sun |
Get more even tan-lines. Watch out for heat stroke. |
1 |
| Orange Juice Planet |
It's an entire planet made of... 100% orange juice? I'm guessing it used to be a giant orange. |
1 |
| Bibble Splushie |
SpiP #001 - The bestest & bibbliest Skit is now your BFF! He's got pockets full of shiny pebbles, and he'll grant you 29 o a day for being so awesome. |
1 |
| Nylock Splushie |
SpiP #002 - Randomly loses and grows appendages. Won't shut up about being banned twice. Comes with tiny boat and earplugs. |
1 |
| Kyonlion Splushie |
SpiP #099 - Rawr! Fluffy as a lion! Has a shirt with lucky 7's all over it and comes with a cute little Kyoncub! |
1 |
| The One Ring |
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the Tower bind them. |
1 |
| Biz Splushie |
SpiP #199 - A clever little plush with pockets full of fortunes! If you're lucky, he might help you solve mysteries. |
1 |
| EternalX Splushie |
SpiP #299 - A tealy pigmomma of pure sunshine. Tells you cute things about Claire when squeezed! |
1 |
| Assfuck Splushie |
SpiP #269 - He's dressed exactly as you'd expect. Randomly asks if you have a Pornhub account. He's adorable, though. |
1 |
| River Styx Passage |
When it's time to pay Charon, you'll be set to cross the River Styx. |
1 |
| Old Feller Splushie |
SpiP #004 - He's not what he seems.. Pat him and he gives you an exciting fact, but only once a day. |
1 |
| Nintendo 3DS |
In glorious 3D! |
1 |
| Mila's Comet |
Uwaaa! A shooting star! Did it just... woof? |
1 |
| Augi Prime |
The surface is choked by vegetation. The ground hidden beneath a sea of leaves and stems. It seems like a plant has become the dominant species on the planet. |
1 |
| Purple Turtle |
A rare new species! Discovered in the moat of the Tower. Friendly and hungry. Likes daisies. |
1 |
| Bag o' Tricks |
Full of nefarious goodies. Maybe it has something that will help you steal an item off of someone else. |
1 |
| Protection Charm |
Keeps you safe, but breaks after one use. |
1 |
| Teal Silk Robe |
Shiniest Spiralian silk, golden trim, a wonderfully large hood, embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Venus |
The planet or the goddess? Yes. |
1 |
| Teal |
The color teal. Very pretty. |
1 |
| The North Star |
Never lose your way again. |
1 |
| Mars |
Formerly the planet of war, now a squishy paradise for turtles. |
1 |
| SR388 |
A planet ravaged by interstellar war. Don't worry: you're getting a version of it before it's destruction. |
1 |
| Train Set |
The most whimsical miniature train set ever made, with Spiraling tracks! Choo, choo! Batteries not included. |
1 |
| YEETmas SPONGEcake |
So squishy! You chew and chew and chew and...it's still there! Chew harder! |
1 |
| Sotik VII |
A planet teeming with life. 7th time's the charm, they say.. |
1 |
| Universal Charger |
Uh oh, someone forgot to plug existence back in. |
1 |
| Mercury |
Named for the arbiter of the gods. |
1 |
| Pluto |
Did you know this celestial body was named by an 11 year old girl in England? |
1 |
| Dysfunctional Pen |
It only draws spirals |
1 |
| Wireless Turtle |
It's really nice to be able to take it anywhere and not worry about having to plug it in. |
1 |
| Shellraiser |
He's a friendly pinhead, helping turtles get to where they wanna go. |
1 |
| Neptune |
How come we get 1 moon when Neptune gets 14? |
1 |
| Saturn |
The rings weren't always there. Who put them there? |
1 |
| The Moon |
Always reflecting, never casting its own light. |
1 |