| 7878 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Spider Silk Robe |
Indestructible and insanely light, let's you move like a shadow. Weaved by Spiralian Tower Spiders. |
| Pink Rockin' Robe |
Blindingy HOT pink velvet with an irresistibly silky lining and more pockets than you'll ever need! Perfect for collecting things and storing treasure. Turns into a pillow when needed. |
| Fancy Spiral Bouquet |
A stunning bouquet of gorgeous roses from the Tower gardens, colorful Spiral hydrangeas and scented hyacinths. |
| Bubble Robe |
How...how does it even stay together? The bubbles won't break. It's mesmerizing. |
| Handmade Card |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
| Cloak of Dramatic Billowing |
Just epic flair. Perfect for grand entrances and exits alike. |
| Portable Hole |
A hole in space-time. Where does it go? Nobody knows. |
| Tower Towel |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
| Shield of Absolute Indifference |
Negates emotional damage. Does nothing against physical attacks. |
| Robe of Infinite Snacks |
Summon a snack at will! Beware: It is unclear where they come from. |
| Vault-Tec Lunchbox |
Contains randomized loot, sometimes confetti, sometimes bottle caps, sometimes… worse. |
| Potion of Minor Healing (Raspberry Flavor) |
Heals paper cuts, stubbed toes, and mild emotional damage. |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
| Robe of Too Many Pockets |
You’ll lose everything, stylishly. |
| Potion of Acceptable Social Interactions |
You know why. |
| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
| Scroll of Petty Miracles |
Cures hiccups. Summons tiny rainclouds. |
| Scroll of Infinite To-Do Lists |
Tasks refill themselves. Truly cursed. |
| Scroll of Very Mild Revenge |
Mostly generates passive-aggressive Post-its. |
| Potion of Moderate Courage |
Face your inbox with only mild panic. |
| Scroll of Low-Level Banishment |
Great for mosquitos and minor annoyances, does not work on humans |
| Miniature Kraken-In-A-Jar |
Cuddly. Possibly vengeful. |
| Potion of Perfect Procrastination |
You’ll finally do nothing, absolutely flawlessly. |
| Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster |
Grants stealth by causing observers to momentarily forget your existence. |
| Suspiciously Sentient Sourdough |
Whispers secrets about your ancestors that you may or may not want to know. |
| Reapers Robe |
Smooth black velvet, lush orange silk lining. Enormous and ominous hood. Silver skull detailing. Endless pockets. Extra swooshy. |
| Ragnarök Insurance |
Can you afford not to buy it? |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
| Jörmungandr Friendship Bracelet |
Elastic, shiny, slightly damp. Bites if removed improperly. |
| Disco Robe |
A mirrorball-like wonder. May cause spontaneous dance-offs, and marriage proposals. |
| Robe of Polychromatic Liberation |
Every color you were told not to wear. Wear them all! |
| Sparkly Glitter Robe x2 |
Shine brighter than your dagger! Multicolored sequins that change color according to your mood. Two pockets, fuzzy lining. |
| Kinky Robe |
Uh.. Are you sure you want to wear that to this week's sacrifice? I mean, it's a bit risqué, no? You make it work though. |
| Black Velvet Robe |
Luxurious and rich velvet, silver trim, enormous hood and pockets, embroidered with your number. |
| Camouflage Robe |
Perfect for ambushing and stalking fresh meat in the hedge maze. Big hood, many pockets, waterproof. |
| Red Satin Robe |
Shiny, smooth and flowing, with medium pockets and a color that hides bloodstains perfectly. |
| Electric Robe |
Shockingly blue and shines like lightning. Sparks randomly and emits a low electrical hum as you move. |
| Cute Furry Robe |
Super warm and fuzzy, adorable ears on the hood, hidden pockets, embroidered with your number. |
| 400 Bad Request client Rooibos |
Sip. Malfunction. Repeat. |
| Luxurious Robe |
Made from the plushest velvet known to man, with gold trim and embroidered with your number. |
| Basic Black Robe |
Gets the job done, just like you. Built-in holster for your dagger, hidden pocket and light as a feather |
| Väinämöinen's Pick |
Plucks any instrument perfectly, most of the time, but makes you play Polka when it feels like it. |
| Ultimate Robe 9000 |
Shine. Stealth. Tassels. Pockets. Straps. Hooks. Gadgets. Power. Prestige. Glory. |