| 13431 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Towering Tool Belt |
Holds all your essential Tower-tinkering-tools, such as your dagger, chloroform, cookies and rocks. |
| Assfuck Platter |
No, it doesn't taste like ass! It's a wholeheartedly fucked platter of absolute deliciousness! |
| Holy Water Bottle |
Quench your sinful thoughts or scold your demonic pals with water blessed by the Rudest of Ministers, the Pastor Sarcastor. |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| How To Spiral 101 |
What is this place? What do the numbers mean? Help, I got flushed? Find weird answers for all your questions! |
| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of "raisins", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
| Floor Floosher 4000 |
Syrup on your ceiling? Pesky slices of pizza on the floor? Not anymore! Your personal Floor Floosher can clean your floor in under 94 hours! |
| Spiral Studies 304 |
Someone seems to have dropped their notes from their Spiral Studies class.. Interesting. |
| Bag o' Tricks |
Full of nefarious goodies. Maybe it has something that will help you steal an item off of someone else. |
| Extreme Backpack |
You've never seen a backpack like this! It looks SO cool and it fits...everything. Yes, literally EVERYTHING. Don't ask how. There might be a time-space continuum in there. |
| Chocolate Kiro |
Valentines Day is coming! And what could be cuter and sweeter than a little chocolate Kiro! Made from organic Spiral Chocolate! |
| Brainrot in a Jar |
Harvested far away from the tower, from the upper shallows of....outer reddit. It's continuously rotting, yet alive. It's fascinating. |
| DTI's Fatherly Hug |
Now, this is very rare. And he'll never admit to it, but nonetheless, you got it. Cherish it. |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
| Book of Kiro |
Full of wisdom, questionable doodles and linguistic goodness. You may not understand it all, but damn it's cute! |
| Spartan Monkey Plushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
| Child-made Lemonade |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
| Party Robe |
Colorful, charming and utterly cool. Tailored to your perfect measurements, unbelievably flattering and dapper! Get your groove on at any party or sacrifice. |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
| Asherjade Plushie |
SpiP #032 - A feisty little fisherman from the Tower mote! Tiny model airplane, fancy fishing lures and delicious pie included. |
| Handmade Card |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
| Camouflage Boots |
Essential wear for any trekking, climbing, hiding, hunting and sacrificing Stowerling. Goes especially well with the Camp-robes. |
| Pizza Pie Dagger |
The true multi-purpose dagger for all your sacrificial, pizza slicin' and pie cuttin' needs! |
| Ruby Slippers |
With a click of your heels, you're teleported down to the Tower Gardens. |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
| Pocket-sized Port-a-Portal Parchment |
This magical parchment, paired with a crayon of your choice, allows adventurers to create temporary portals to different levels of the endless tower. |
| Sustainable Robe |
Stitched together from pre-owned pieces of fabrics gathered from flushed sacrifices. |
| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. It’s seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
| Inflatable FLUSH Suit |
In case of flushing, the suit automatically inflates making your FLUSH a luxurious and relaxing float as you go for a joyride down the pipes. |
| Stealth Dagger 3000 |
Be the stealthiest rogue at any sacrifice. Camouflages into anything you're wearing. Needs no cleaning. |
| Spiral Summer Hits Vol 1 |
The hottest mixtape this summer! Includes the hits: Who Left The Meat Out, Party Flush Anthem, and Hunky Town. |
| Octarine Lollipop |
Each eight lick tastes like a different kind of chaos. |
| Cloak of Concealment |
This cloak doesn't just hide you from sight – it also makes you completely forgettable! Perfect for avoiding awkward conversations, and generally blending into the background. Matching it with the Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
| Stower Speedos |
Funky, slick and hotter than the basement furnace. Perfect for slip-n-sliding down some flushy pipes and basking at the pool. All eyes on you! |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
| The Spiral Towel |
Don't forget to bring a towel! Perhaps THE most important item you should always have with you in the Spiral, especially on fridays. |
| Eel Worship Tart |
The traditional holy dish of the Spiral Tower. Served and offered at every special event, birthday, holiday and sacrifice. Shall NOT be yucked, chucked or disrespected. 'Tis sacred. |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
| S'tower Tartan Kilt |
Adorned with the unique spiral tartan, complete with sporran for one’s pebbles and a pleat that guarantees it will only fly up at the most appropriate of times. Goes well with any robe and dagger! |
| Mylvee Plushie |
SpiP #104 - hungry. bites you. prions are scary. dinat dinat do. death by glamour. milk. two planets approach the roche limit. bal man. walk don't run. battle for dream island. we are eternal. eepy. |
| ReactsWithWords Plushie |
SpiP #058 - YES, he reacts to your words! No pre-recorded jargon! Comes with a MASSIVE stack of teeny tiny maps & floor plans and a cool tour guide hat. You'll never be lost if you have him along. Also functions as a brilliant little jukebox. |
| Chocolate Spiral Tower |
A swirly depiction of the Tower with each floor being a different flavor of white, dark or milk chocolate. WARNING: Over 9000 floors. Might cause nausea. |
| Stower Pelt Hair |
What a pelt! So beautiful! Warm! Thick! Lustrous! Cuddly! Burly! What animal is it from? That's.. That's besides the point. Just look at it! |
| Nylockian Phalluses |
Almost as beautiful as the Fabulous Bouquet (not really). |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
| Root 88 Dagger |
Exquisitly made, but it's wooden. |
| Sunday Sundae |
A declicious assortment of your favorite ice cream flavors, magically topped with your favorite toppings, if any. There's a special 'Tower' flavor, if you're so bold to try. |
| Lover's Bead |
One of a pair, the owners of each half are soulmates. Whether they like it or not. |
| Magicked Notebook |
When you look at a page, it transcribes the notes you want to take automatically. Sometimes it's a little eager, though, and will write down stuff you wanted to keep secret. |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
| Towering Tulips |
The most gorgeous tulips from the Spiral gardens, grown with that special....fertilizer. Intoxicating scent, may cause hallucinations. Colors as bright as your presence, as strong as your spirit. Wow! |
| Fabulous Bouquet |
Absolutley beautifully arranged bouquet. Anyone receiving one would surely be flattered. |