4080 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
Red Satin Robe |
Shiny, smooth and flowing, with medium pockets and a color that hides bloodstains perfectly. |
Spiral Slippers |
Fluffy, soft and oh so warm. They're blood-proof, checkered and very silent to walk in as well. |
Floor Floosher 4000 |
Syrup on your ceiling? Pesky slices of pizza on the floor? Not anymore! Your personal Floor Floosher can clean your floor in under 94 hours! |
Vault-Tec Lunchbox |
Contains randomized loot, sometimes confetti, sometimes bottle caps, sometimes… worse. |
Cursed D20 |
Guaranteed to roll 1s when you need it most |
Tower Towel x2 |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
Cloak of Dramatic Billowing |
Just epic flair. Perfect for grand entrances and exits alike. |
Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
Bottle of Mead of Poetry x2 |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
Golem Carving Kit |
Assemble your own emotional support rock. |
Tardis Tea Set |
A ridiculously small doll tea set that is bigger on the inside. So portable! Perfect for picnics |
Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
Sleep Not Found Cold Brew |
May cause speed typing and the illusion of productivity. |
NyQuil Night Blend |
For when you REALLY need to sleep. |
Ring of Continuous Snacking |
Creates a small snack every 10 minutes. Cannot be turned off. |
Earmuffs of Selective Hearing |
Blocks out whining, unwanted feedback, and passive-aggressive suggestions. |
Hexpress-o Shot |
May grant temporary clairvoyance. |
AFK Afternoon Break Blend |
Logout required, cozy socks recommended. |
Mostly Harmless Masala Chai |
97% bliss, 3% plausible deniability. |
Excalibur Paper Cutter |
Does not make you royaly, because strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. |
Spiral Herbs of Warmth |
A special selection of the finest seasonal spiral herbs, only harvested during Christmas-time. May cause extraordinary niceness and warm fuzzy feels when added to any dish, or sprinkled on a friend. |
The Sampo |
Magical mill of infinite output. None agree upon what it actually does, but everyone wants it. |
Arcade Token of Infinite Continues |
Warning: Doesn’t work on real life. |
Root 88 Dagger |
Exquisitly made, but it's wooden. |