| 11989 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Red Satin Robe |
Shiny, smooth and flowing, with medium pockets and a color that hides bloodstains perfectly. |
| Spiral Slippers |
Fluffy, soft and oh so warm. They're blood-proof, checkered and very silent to walk in as well. |
| Floor Floosher 4000 |
Syrup on your ceiling? Pesky slices of pizza on the floor? Not anymore! Your personal Floor Floosher can clean your floor in under 94 hours! |
| Vault-Tec Lunchbox |
Contains randomized loot, sometimes confetti, sometimes bottle caps, sometimes… worse. |
| Cursed D20 |
Guaranteed to roll 1s when you need it most |
| Tower Towel x2 |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
| Cloak of Dramatic Billowing |
Just epic flair. Perfect for grand entrances and exits alike. |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum x3 |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry x2 |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
| Golem Carving Kit |
Assemble your own emotional support rock. |
| Tardis Tea Set |
A ridiculously small doll tea set that is bigger on the inside. So portable! Perfect for picnics |
| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
| Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
| Sleep Not Found Cold Brew |
May cause speed typing and the illusion of productivity. |
| NyQuil Night Blend |
For when you REALLY need to sleep. |
| Ring of Continuous Snacking |
Creates a small snack every 10 minutes. Cannot be turned off. |
| Earmuffs of Selective Hearing |
Blocks out whining, unwanted feedback, and passive-aggressive suggestions. |
| Hexpress-o Shot |
May grant temporary clairvoyance. |
| AFK Afternoon Break Blend |
Logout required, cozy socks recommended. |
| Mostly Harmless Masala Chai |
97% bliss, 3% plausible deniability. |
| Excalibur Paper Cutter |
Does not make you royaly, because strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. |
| Spiral Herbs of Warmth |
A special selection of the finest seasonal spiral herbs, only harvested during Christmas-time. May cause extraordinary niceness and warm fuzzy feels when added to any dish, or sprinkled on a friend. |
| The Sampo |
Magical mill of infinite output. None agree upon what it actually does, but everyone wants it. |
| Arcade Token of Infinite Continues |
Warning: Doesn’t work on real life. |
| Root 88 Dagger |
Exquisitly made, but it's wooden. |
| 5-pack of Underwear |
Good quality. Some packs come with a secret tie-dye pair. |
| Robe of Infinite Snacks |
Summon a snack at will! Beware: It is unclear where they come from. |
| Bibble Splushie |
SpiP #001 - The bestest & bibbliest Skit is now your BFF! He's got pockets full of shiny pebbles, and he'll grant you 29 o a day for being so awesome. |
| Omnitool Replica |
Looks cool. Solves nothing. Satisfies everything. |
| Middlefinger Splushie |
SpiP #200 - Don't let the name fool you! This little guy will always be your number one cheerleader, psychologist, and ultimate problem solver, he just might flip you off while doing it. Scratch that...he definitely will. |
| Chamomilitant Seeds |
Tea grown from them is soothing by force. You’ll calm down, or it will make you. |
| Posture Gremlin |
Sits on your shoulder whispering 'shoulders back!' |
| Väinämöinen's Pick |
Plucks any instrument perfectly, most of the time, but makes you play Polka when it feels like it. |
| Goggles of Selective Perception |
Hide red flags, bad ideas, and awkward exes. |