| 8782 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Sirens' Noise-Cancelling Earbuds |
Perfect for resisting ads. |
| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
| Porcelain Cup of Unrealistic Physics |
Will not shatter when dropped. |
| NyQuil Night Blend |
For when you REALLY need to sleep. |
| 5-pack of Underwear |
Good quality. Some packs come with a secret tie-dye pair. |
| Zarking Fardwangle Fizzbombs x2 |
Explodes in your mouth. In a good way. Usually. |
| AFK Afternoon Break Blend |
Logout required, cozy socks recommended. |
| Blessing of Chernobog |
You won’t like it, but you’ll remember it. |
| Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
| Hexpress-o Shot |
May grant temporary clairvoyance. |
| Idun's Apple Cider |
Gently sparkling. Keeps cheeks rosy and existential dread at bay. |
| Robe of Polychromatic Liberation |
Every color you were told not to wear. Wear them all! |
| Robe of Too Many Pockets |
You’ll lose everything, stylishly. |
| Finger Puppet Theater Kit |
Now with stage curtains! Great for show-and-tell conflict resolution. |
| Chest of Books |
Found in the dusty cellars of the tower. Includes history of the Tower, maps and some old diaries. |
| Cool Mike Splushie |
SpiP #5000 - He's Mike, he's the coolest! Pockets full of teeny rocks & minerals, comes with a tiny rock collecting kit and amazing facts. He ROCKS! |
| Luxurious Robe |
Made from the plushest velvet known to man, with gold trim and embroidered with your number. |
| Pink Rockin' Robe |
Blindingy HOT pink velvet with an irresistibly silky lining and more pockets than you'll ever need! Perfect for collecting things and storing treasure. Turns into a pillow when needed. |
| Stuffed Bunny |
Extremely valuable to one person. They really miss it. |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| Ineffable Robe of Bureaucratic Invisibility |
Makes you entirely unnoticeable to any government agency. Including the tax office. |
| Comfy Robe |
A thick robe with a relaxed fit and pockets for your daggers, made from the fluffiest Sparlorian cotton. |
| Robe of Infinite Snacks |
Summon a snack at will! Beware: It is unclear where they come from. |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
| Terrific Tower Towel |
For all your drying, lounging, relaxing and adventuring needs - this towel will keep you safe, dry and stylish at all times. WARNING: DO NOT FORGET IT! |
| Plastic Action Dagger |
What every kid (Stowerling) wants for Christmas! Cool buttons that shoot lasers, beep and boop, many flashing lights and a hidden water-spraying gag function! Make all your fellow Stowerlings jealous with this baby! |
| Ugly Flushmas Sweater 2025 |
There are so many names stitched into this sweater that it's become illegible. A sore for sight eyes. |
| Gold Coin Half |
Still worth quite a bit! |
| Non-descript Cup |
Definitely not full of your favorite alcohol. Grab a few and give em out to your friends! |
| Love Letter |
Each time you open the envelope you'll hear a faint whisper telling you how wonderful you are. |
| Pink Flashlight |
Very handy when sneaking around the tower at night. |