| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
14845o |
| Marbles |
"Lost your marbles? Buy some more! These shiny glass orbs contain all the colours known to mankind and a few more besides. Don't look too closely at them - they have been known to cause some people to completely lose their marbles." |
1 |
| A Cool Rock |
"It fits perfectly in your hand, the texture is just right, and it's a pretty color with flecks in it that catch the light. Wait...did it just move?" |
2 |
| Sense of Humor |
“Allows you to feel melaina chole, xanthe chole, phlegma, or haima. Not to be confused with the ability to understand jokes, which is priceless.” |
2 |
| Transylvanian Elbow Sex Condoms (box of 12) |
For safe elbow sex. The best way to avoid sharing Elbowsexually Transmitted Diseases with your siblings. In our perfect spirally towering world, safe elbow sex is affordable and subsidized. |
1 |
| Peppercorn |
"Perfect for paying that peppercorn rent for your Spiral Tower floor. Comes in pink, red, green, black, white and brown. May or may not be edible. Maybe don't risk it." |
1 |
| Ill Intent |
“Diaphanous miasma that will surround you and inspire you to acts of intergalactic sabotage, fight for your rights, or just get it together. Requires proper licensure.” |
2 |
| Tinned Tower Tuna Treats |
Whether you're on the verge of starvation, a cat owner, or craving a spiral delicacy, these nutrient packed fishy treats will hit the spot! With a shelf-life of over 3028 years, you can really savour them. |
1 |
| Sinewy Spiral Sweets |
Crafted in the old laboratory, our mad scientists have finally done it! They've perfected the plag...the, perfect way to make sweets out of...meats! Yum! |
2 |
| Scroll of Low-Level Banishment |
Great for mosquitos and minor annoyances, does not work on humans |
1 |
| Cursed Envelope |
Having this on you increases your chances of being struck by a flying ice-cream truck. |
1 |
| Upside-down Guitar |
The guitar looks fine. But everything you play sounds 'upside-down,' somehow. |
1 |
| Red Satin Robe |
Shiny, smooth and flowing, with medium pockets and a color that hides bloodstains perfectly. |
1 |
| Sparkly Glitter Robe |
Shine brighter than your dagger! Multicolored sequins that change color according to your mood. Two pockets, fuzzy lining. |
1 |
| Basic Black Robe |
Gets the job done, just like you. Built-in holster for your dagger, hidden pocket and light as a feather |
1 |
| Mayo Robe |
I can't believe you bought this even though ad description said 'couldn't get the mayonnaise smell out.' |
1 |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
1 |
| Girl Button |
An item that turns the owner into a into a girl. |
1 |
| Spiral Boarding Pass |
Only 3 of these exist. Where are you going? You and the other two get to decide. |
1 |
| 666 Piece Puzzle |
You hear evil whispers every time you connect a piece. Do you dare finish it? |
1 |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
2 |
| Hannukah Hat |
It's 8 times as fancy as your fanciest hat. Guaranteed to bring joy. |
1 |
| Christmas Cracker |
It's a very festive, buttery, delicious cracker. Explosive flavor in every bite. |
3 |
| Ugly Flushmas Sweater 2025 |
There are so many names stitched into this sweater that it's become illegible. A sore for sight eyes. |
2 |
| Non-descript Cup |
Definitely not full of your favorite alcohol. Grab a few and give em out to your friends! |
1 |
| Robe of Rain |
This rainbow colored meteorological robe that will alert you of incoming rain by singing the Gene Kelly hit 'I'm Singing in the Rain' for you and turning waterproof. Keeps you dry and provides you with a cup of tea whenever it rains. Two pockets, dagger holder, slippery feel. |
1 |
| Wyvern's Talon |
You hear angry mumblings in your head as you carry this. You start to feel unwarranted irritations, as well. |
1 |
| Nonpolitical Robe |
Equipped with special spiralian shit- and politics-sensors, this robe will temporarily stun anyone in your vicinity if there is even a whiff of politics, giving you time to flee. Thick velvet lining, a shiny bluish glow, deep pockets and a stash for treats. |
1 |
| Spiral Buttplug |
A delightfully spinny and corkscrew-like little gadget. Doubles as a bottle opener, glows in the dark and always points to the Tower, should you get lost! |
3 |
| Plastic Action Dagger |
What every kid (Stowerling) wants for Christmas! Cool buttons that shoot lasers, beep and boop, many flashing lights and a hidden water-spraying gag function! Make all your fellow Stowerlings jealous with this baby! |
2 |
| Retro Denim Robe |
Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it. |
1 |
| Teal Silk Robe |
Shiniest Spiralian silk, golden trim, a wonderfully large hood, embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Cactus Pencil (Mildly Spiky) |
Improves spelling and handwriting via threat. |
1 |
| Plastic Robe |
I just don't wanna get any blood on me.. It doubles as a raincoat too! Stay dry for every FLUSH! |
2 |
| Trophy for Trying Your Best |
Gold-ish. Heavy with pride. |
1 |
| Modular Bookmark |
Includes 12 detachable tabs and a tiny flag. |
1 |
| Used Robe |
Nothing fancy, a little wear-and-tear and the odd bloodstain, but gets the job done! Wonder who's this was.. |
2 |
| Scented Candle: Library Fuzz |
Smells like old books and slightly dusty comfort. |
1 |
| Goggles of Selective Perception |
Hide red flags, bad ideas, and awkward exes. |
1 |
| Jörmungandr Friendship Bracelet |
Elastic, shiny, slightly damp. Bites if removed improperly. |
1 |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
2 |
| Ring of Continuous Snacking |
Creates a small snack every 10 minutes. Cannot be turned off. |
1 |
| Perun's Group Chat Logs |
Just Perun yelling at Veles in all caps. Ends mid-rant. |
2 |
| Väinämöinen's Pick |
Plucks any instrument perfectly, most of the time, but makes you play Polka when it feels like it. |
2 |
| Blessing of Chernobog |
You wont like it, but youll remember it. |
2 |
| Scroll of Infinite To-Do Lists |
Tasks refill themselves. Truly cursed. |
1 |
| Woolly Socks of Static |
Zap! |
2 |
| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
1 |
| Porcelain Cup of Unrealistic Physics |
Will not shatter when dropped. |
1 |
| To-Don't List |
A crumpled scroll of things you should definitely not do. Updates hourly. |
1 |
| Gorgon Eyeliner |
Slays. Occasionally literally. |
2 |
| Sleep Not Found Cold Brew |
May cause speed typing and the illusion of productivity. |
1 |
| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
4 |
| Copper Ingot of Ea-Nasir (Absolutely Terrible Quality) |
You deserve better. But here we are. |
1 |
| Potion of Existential Dread |
Makes you realize the futility of life. Somehow still a popular purchase. |
1 |
| Cursed D20 |
Guaranteed to roll 1s when you need it most |
2 |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
1 |
| Plush Pink Robe |
Embroidered with your number, beautiful sparkly tassels and BIG pockets - for your dagger, and such. |
2 |
| Hunky Bibbleskit Poster |
As requested by DTI! |
1 |
| Blue Sock |
It's what it's. |
1 |
| Sushi |
Ooo, Sushi! Oh nevermind, it's from a gas station. |
1 |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
1 |
| 88 Proof Rootbeer |
Will knock your socks off, and your number-neighbor's socks too, honestly. Be careful! |
1 |
| Jingly Spiral Ornament |
A softly jingling golden little memento of celebrating Christmas 2024 in the Spiral Tower. |
1 |
| Red Flag |
Wanna be the new security chief? Wave it around or plant it in front of anyone who's acting suspiciously. |
2 |
| Handmade Card |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
1 |
| Handful of Treats |
For looking so fabulous, being so wonderful, and just for showing up! Enjoy! |
1 |
| Boo Brew |
Enjoy a pint of the Spiral's finest Halloween ale! Hints of pumpkin, blood, sweat, and tears. Cheers, friend! |
1 |
| Sheety Robe |
A plain white 100% cotton robe made from our old sheets; recycling at its best! Two regular pockets, medium hood, nothing too fancy. Doubles as a ghost costume. |
2 |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
3 |
| Skeleton Pie |
Cooked in the cellar kitchens, by the crooked chef, of some wretched bones, and ice cream cones. |
1 |
| Feels |
I feel you. I felt that. You feel me? All the feels. |
1 |
| Fabulous Bouquet |
Absolutley beautifully arranged bouquet. Anyone receiving one would surely be flattered. |
1 |
| Tower Rations |
A tin of essentials; clump of fresh meat, 1 x celery cake, 1 x spiral baguette, box of \"raisins\", 1 x sippy-cup of sacrificial juice. |
1 |
| Free Hugs |
Sometimes a good hug is very important. And so are you, friend. |
8 |
| Magicked Notebook |
When you look at a page, it transcribes the notes you want to take automatically. Sometimes it's a little eager, though, and will write down stuff you wanted to keep secret. |
1 |
| Lovely Lactase Pills |
An easy to chew and swallow pill. Eradicates your intolerance. Not just for milk, though. |
6 |
| Proper Gourmet Hotdog |
Hot DOG this was good. Great for any day of the week. |
2 |
| Pre-wrapped Bacon |
If only I had a million dollars... |
1 |
| Mylvee Splushie |
SpiP #104 - hungry. bites you. prions are scary. dinat dinat do. death by glamour. milk. two planets approach the roche limit. bal man. walk don't run. battle for dream island. we are eternal. eepy. |
1 |
| Eel Worship Tart |
The traditional holy dish of the Spiral Tower. Served and offered at every special event, birthday, holiday and sacrifice. Shall NOT be yucked, chucked or disrespected. 'Tis sacred. |
1 |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
1 |
| Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention |
These gloves not only give you a firm grip on stuff and things, in general, but also draw attention with their eye-catching sequin design. Matching it with the Cloak of Concealment will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
1 |
| Octarine Lollipop |
Each eighth lick tastes like a different kind of chaos. |
4 |
| Gryphon's Gourmet Grub |
These gourmet rations are fit for a king – or at least a gryphon. Its seeds. Just seeds, but the name makes you want them more, right? Right? |
1 |
| Sustainable Robe |
Stitched together from pre-owned pieces of fabrics gathered from flushed sacrifices. |
1 |
| How To Spiral 101 |
What is this place? What do the numbers mean? Help, I got flushed? Find weird answers for all your questions! |
8 |
| Potatoes |
PO-TA-TOES. |
1 |
| Mulberry Splushie |
SpiP #093 - Are you sure you can handle this plushie? It might make you...blushie. Comes with blindfold, whips and beautiful melodies. |
1 |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
1 |
| Frequent Flushing Miles |
ONLY FOR THE FLUSHED! Have you been flushed once? Buy one. Been flushed twice? Buy two, and so on. |
22 |
| Child-made Lemonade |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
1 |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
6 |
| Chocolate Kiro |
Valentines Day is coming! And what could be cuter and sweeter than a little chocolate Kiro! Made from organic Spiral Chocolate! |
1 |
| Commemorative Eggplant |
'Member when the Tower flooded with eggplants? I 'member. |
1 |
| Reapers Robe |
Smooth black velvet, lush orange silk lining. Enormous and ominous hood. Silver skull detailing. Endless pockets. Extra swooshy. |
1 |
| Lucifer Splushie |
SpiP #666 - Our tiny overlord in all his glory! Pitchfork, hellfire and evil plans included. Only available on Halloween. |
1 |
| Sheet |
You're the ghost of the Sparlor now! OooOooOo |
1 |
| Pack of Blood |
What do you mean? Of course it's fake blood.. Why? What have you heard? |
3 |
| Commemorative Pumpkin |
I celebrated Halloween in the Tower 2023! BOO! |
1 |
| Bag o' Tricks |
Full of nefarious goodies. Maybe it has something that will help you steal an item off of someone else. |
1 |
| Droolcup |
Limited-time accessory! Hunky DTI poster not included. |
1 |
| FLUSH! T-Shirt |
I SURVIVED THE FLUSH AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET THIS T-SHIRT, I BOUGHT IT! |
2 |
| Latex Robe |
High collar, shiny, squeaky and sleek. Attend all sacrifices like sex on a stick. |
2 |