| 123994 o |
The currency used in SPONGE. |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
| Bubble Robe x2 |
How...how does it even stay together? The bubbles won't break. It's mesmerizing. |
| Safari Scott Plushie |
SpiP #013 - Equipped with full safari-gear and all kinds of wild tales of epic adventures! |
| Child-made Lemonade x2 |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
| Super Bowl Ring |
What do you mean false advertising? It's a really super bowl-ring! Fits a teaspoon of rice or cereal easy! |
| Hunky Bibbleskit Poster |
As requested by DTI! |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
| Bigfoot Toenail |
It's so big, you can use it as a butter-knife! Adds a bit of flavor, too. Yum. |
| Goofball |
A ball of goof. |
| Droolcup |
Limited-time accessory! Hunky DTI poster not included. |
| Hunky DTI Costume |
Be the man himself! Banhammer, yorkshire pudding and english accent included. |
| Scary Stories of the Tower |
An anthology of bone-chilling and cursed tales. The pages were found behind a bricked up wall in the tombs.. |
| Commemorative Pumpkin |
I celebrated Halloween in the Tower 2023! BOO! |
| Lucifer Plushie |
SpiP #666 - Our tiny overlord in all his glory! Pitchfork, hellfire and evil plans included. Only available on Halloween. |
| Sinjury Costume |
Move in the shadows, spreading glitter wherever you go. Very tentacly, extra squish. |
| Fuzzy Maal Wall Rug |
Garish and captivating, extra fuzzy, massively muscly and decorated with sparkly beads. Hand-woven by skilled tentacles. Also doubles as a warm quilt. |
| Holy Water Bottle |
Quench your sinful thoughts or scold your demonic pals with water blessed by the Rudest of Ministers, the Pastor Sarcastor. |
| Emergency Blanket |
For: very serious emergencies, chilly toes and escaping ghastly apparitions. |
| Commemorative Eggplant |
'Member when the Tower flooded with eggplants? I 'member. |
| Stuffing |
Yo we heard you like stuffing?! So we put some stuff in your stuffing so you can stuff it in some stuff!!. |
| Forsaken Originals |
Are you feelin' adventurous? No one is quite sure what this dish exactly is but.. I mean.. At least it's original? |
| Assfuck Platter |
No, it doesn't taste like ass! It's a wholeheartedly fucked platter of absolute deliciousness! |
| UnU Plushie |
SpiP #012 - Fluffy, cute and fierce! As the king, she comes equipped with a tiny crown, customized art and a tiny alien companion. |
| Sweet Spiral Salad |
The freshest salad you'll ever have! Put together by the turtles in the hedge maze gardens. Might contain traces of lots of stuff.. But that's what makes it good! |
| Very Impressed Wife |
Is your wife continously unimpressed? Turn your life around with the very impressed wife! Nothing disappoints her! No, not even you! |
| DTI's Fatherly Hug |
Now, this is very rare. And he'll never admit to it, but nonetheless, you got it. Cherish it. |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
| Interesting Tower Statistics |
A big top secret dossier of incredibly interesting statistics gathered by ReactsWithWords. Shh! Now you know it all! |
| Secret Safari Maps |
Meticulously crafted by the man, the myth and the Scott himself. Ready for an adventure? If you can't bring Scott with you, this is the next best thing to have. |
| Spiral Gang Membership |
You're in it now. Includes instructions to secret booty shake and how to make the perfect mustard sandwich. |
| Emotional Support |
There for you, friend. |
| Potatoes |
PO-TA-TOES. |
| Assfuck's Ginger Beer |
After some trial and error, efforts were successful! ..and there may be a finger somewhere in there. Enjoy! |
| Spongy Dagger |
Shhh! It's foam! Don't tell anyone! Looks super real, and is handy when you're just not feelin' it and ain't really in a sacrificin' mood, but don't wanna be left out or a party pooper. |
| Box of Chocolates |
You never know what you're gonna get. Except caramel, there's always some caramel in there. |
| Steve Schaubs Library Card |
Grants the bearer permanent access (no more need for day passes) to the Franksgard University Library, its collections, and its workshops. |
| Giggle Gummy Bears |
Bursts into fits of barely controlled laughter when you bite into it. Has the same effect on you in approximately 30 minutes later. |
| Spiral Sundress |
A classically beautiful floral print with beautiful spiral detailing. Flows in the sunlight, glows in moonlight. Gorgeous! |
| Hair of a Strudelmeister |
Dropped by a mythical creature and said to bring very good luck to its holder. |
| Octarine Lollipop |
Each eight lick tastes like a different kind of chaos. |
| Elwis The Raptor |
Blessed by an Old God, he survived the great dinocalypse and settled down in the Spiral. Loves him some tender meat, and Elvis. You need to be prepared to sing and scower the pipes for some tenderized meat. |
| Towering Lollipop |
Boasting a whopping 164cm (3 bald eagles and a coconut), the towering lollipop swirls towards the sky in a colorful spiral, with 58 different flavors and textures! |
| S.H.I.T Power Alert |
Love greeting fresh meat? Are you confusingly helpful?Are you definitely not affiliated with any sort of cult? This is THE batsignal for the Spiral Helper Info Team! Big flashy button! MEEP, MEEP, FRESH MEAT DETECTED! Get yours NOW! |
| Parlor Tit Wheels |
No, you perv! These are the cutest tits in the Tower! Sultan tits, sombre tits and great tits! You're like a Disney princess with these little tits swirling around you in a wheel formation, chirping happily. |
| Nervous Ball of Wreck |
A deceivingly small metallic orb the size of a marble. Capable of relieving 5 pints worth of stress per day, or wrecking 3000 tons of any materia by a light flick of it - your choice. |
| Stower Pelt Hair |
What a pelt! So beautiful! Warm! Thick! Lustrous! Cuddly! Burly! What animal is it from? That's.. That's besides the point. Just look at it! |
| Towering Tulips |
The most gorgeous tulips from the Spiral gardens, grown with that special....fertilizer. Intoxicating scent, may cause hallucinations. Colors as bright as your presence, as strong as your spirit. Wow! |
| Replacement Joints |
Not sure if it will help, but the sign says it will. |
| Five Hundred Cigarettes |
What did you expect? Cigs are expensive. |
| hampter |
hampter |