| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
3553o |
| Janet's Newspaper Hat |
Barely better than nothing for protecting your head in the rain. But, what the hell? It's all you've got. |
1 |
| Moo Plushy |
"It's a cow plushy. When you squeeze it, it says moo. Just moo." |
1 |
| Dog Button |
An item that turns the owner into a dog. |
1 |
| White Chess Pieces |
Well, they used to be white. They seem to be covered in some yellow substance. Sticky, too. |
1 |
| A Bad Friend |
They'll never leave you alone, even after you've changed your address and phone number! LEAVE ME ALONE |
1 |
| Assfuck Splushie |
SpiP #269 - He's dressed exactly as you'd expect. Randomly asks if you have a Pornhub account. He's adorable, though. |
1 |
| Retro Denim Robe |
Pockets! So many pockets! Durable and cool, with your number hand-stitched onto it. |
1 |
| Cool Mike Splushie |
SpiP #5000 - He's Mike, he's the coolest! Pockets full of teeny rocks & minerals, comes with a tiny rock collecting kit and amazing facts. He ROCKS! |
1 |
| Auntie Ev Splushie |
SpiP #335 - The sweetest badass auntie of the Tower! Always ready with a tiny whip and a cuppa tea! |
1 |
| Basic T-Shirt |
It says \"I was YEETed and all I got was this stupid shirt.\" |
1 |
| FLUSH! T-Shirt |
I SURVIVED THE FLUSH AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET THIS T-SHIRT, I BOUGHT IT! |
1 |
| Cyberpunk Visor of Optimistic Nihilism |
See the future in glitchy neon. |
1 |
| Scroll of Infinite To-Do Lists |
Tasks refill themselves. Truly cursed. |
1 |
| Scroll of Very Mild Revenge |
Mostly generates passive-aggressive Post-its. |
1 |
| Porcelain Cup of Unrealistic Physics |
Will not shatter when dropped. |
1 |
| Potion of Moderate Courage |
Face your inbox with only mild panic. |
1 |
| Potion of Perfect Procrastination |
Youll finally do nothing, absolutely flawlessly. |
1 |
| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
1 |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
1 |
| Infinite Improbabili-tea |
Tastes different every time, sometimes before you drink it. |
1 |
| Mostly Harmless Masala Chai |
97% bliss, 3% plausible deniability. |
1 |
| Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster |
Grants stealth by causing observers to momentarily forget your existence. |
1 |
| Earmuffs of Selective Hearing |
Blocks out whining, unwanted feedback, and passive-aggressive suggestions. |
1 |
| Pandora's Bento Box |
What's inside? Hope (and pickles). |
1 |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
1 |
| Sonic's Rings |
Can you hear them? Such beautiful, golden, chiming, life-giving rings! |
1 |
| Handmade Card |
I made this with my own little hands, you couldn't wish for more! Fingerpaints, glitter and stickers galore! Hugs. |
1 |
| Hefty Ceramic Mug |
Fired in the hellfire below the tower, this massive mug will serve as a daily workout as you sip your favourite beverage or sacrificial wine. |
1 |
| Spiral Cloak of Confusion |
Confused? Wanting to confuse further? This is the cloak for masters of kung-fusion and conning cultusion. What? Ah, working as intended. |
1 |
| Fabulous Bouquet |
Absolutley beautifully arranged bouquet. Anyone receiving one would surely be flattered. |
1 |
| Lore Whip Taters |
The bestest organic tower-taters, lovingly grown, having passed of old age and filled with wisdom - this whip is steeped in delicious Stower lore. |
1 |
| Argyle Ascot |
Attractive accessories are altogether appropriate, and always ardently appreciated. |
1 |
| Pre-wrapped Bacon |
If only I had a million dollars... |
1 |
| Hunky DTI Poster |
Adorn your floor with this rare and smoldering vintage poster of the Master of the Tower. Droolcup not included. |
1 |
| Glittering Gloves of Gripping and Grabbing Attention |
These gloves not only give you a firm grip on stuff and things, in general, but also draw attention with their eye-catching sequin design. Matching it with the Cloak of Concealment will make you an ordinary amount of memorable. |
1 |
| Sexy Sinjury Poster |
Depicts sauce being poured over a bunch of tentacles on a bed of rice. |
1 |
| Gardener's Dilemma |
A philosophical book of questions and answers to all your gardening quandaries! Warning, may grow roots and vines quite rapidly. |
1 |
| Python Quiz |
How many pythons does it take to build a bomb? How many pythons have been found in the Spiral toilets? How many pythons tall is the Tower? |
1 |
| Spartan Monkey Splushie |
SpiP #003 - A wise little monkey with a crown of bananas and a tinkering kit. Boop his nose and he'll shout THIS. IS. SPIRAL!!! |
1 |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
1 |
| Spiral Slippers |
Fluffy, soft and oh so warm. They're blood-proof, checkered and very silent to walk in as well. |
1 |
| Extreme Backpack |
You've never seen a backpack like this! It looks SO cool and it fits...everything. Yes, literally EVERYTHING. Don't ask how. There might be a time-space continuum in there. |
1 |
| Battle Axe |
When a dagger just isn't enough. |
1 |
| Shiny Spiral Ornament |
I celebrated christmas 2023 in the Tower! Just don't tell anyone what I did at the Christmas party.. |
1 |
| Sustainable Robe |
Stitched together from pre-owned pieces of fabrics gathered from flushed sacrifices. |
1 |