| Pebbles |
The currency used in STONE. |
92395o |
| Eddie's Teddy |
Eddie stabbed this one with his switchblade. Leaks stuffing. |
1 |
| Moo Plushy |
"It's a cow plushy. When you squeeze it, it says moo. Just moo." |
1 |
| Floor Show Fishnets |
Fishnet stockings for those who wish to participate in the floor show. One size fits most. Makes you feel sexy. |
1 |
| Eddie's Motorbike |
Very large and very loud motorcycle. Can be ridden indoors. |
1 |
| Ill Intent |
“Diaphanous miasma that will surround you and inspire you to acts of intergalactic sabotage, fight for your rights, or just get it together. Requires proper licensure.” |
1 |
| Columbia's Tap Shoes |
Black. Sparkly. Beautiful. Excellent tap shoes. Warning: Do not use on stairs! |
1 |
| Tinned Tower Tuna Treats |
Whether you're on the verge of starvation, a cat owner, or craving a spiral delicacy, these nutrient packed fishy treats will hit the spot! With a shelf-life of over 3028 years, you can really savour them. |
1 |
| Potion of False Confidence |
Good for karaoke and half-baked ideas. |
1 |
| Popy Robe |
Honesty, this might actually be an old pope's robe. White, purple and gold, fancy embroidery, a couple of pockets. Comes with holy water, golden slippers and a fancy hat too! |
1 |
| Cat Button |
And item that turns the owner into a cat. |
1 |
| Snarky Fairy |
She's actually very sweet. She just says things in a rude way. |
1 |
| Backup Dancer |
They follow you everywhere. Always accenting your presence with their exotic dance. Sometimes, you wish they'd stop. |
1 |
| Bottle of Pirate's Booty Rum |
Aged in the barrels of lost ships. Smells like adventure, tastes like trouble. |
1 |
| Holiday Halberd |
The craftsmanship is immaculate. Cut down your enemies with cheer! |
1 |
| Robe of Rain |
This rainbow colored meteorological robe that will alert you of incoming rain by singing the Gene Kelly hit 'I'm Singing in the Rain' for you and turning waterproof. Keeps you dry and provides you with a cup of tea whenever it rains. Two pockets, dagger holder, slippery feel. |
1 |
| Carnivorous Kitten |
This little rascal is the cuddliest thing you've ever seen. Will be a loyal companion, keep your enemies at bay, but will require a weekly bloodbath and a feast of flesh. |
1 |
| Bottle of Mead of Poetry |
One sip grants you the tongue of a bard. Two sips make you unbearable at parties. |
1 |
| Black Velvet Robe |
Luxurious and rich velvet, silver trim, enormous hood and pockets, embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Cute Furry Robe |
Super warm and fuzzy, adorable ears on the hood, hidden pockets, embroidered with your number. |
1 |
| Scented Candle: Library Fuzz |
Smells like old books and slightly dusty comfort. |
1 |
| Idun's Apple Cider |
Gently sparkling. Keeps cheeks rosy and existential dread at bay. |
1 |
| Cyberpunk Visor of Optimistic Nihilism |
See the future in glitchy neon. |
1 |
| Child-made Lemonade |
Has whole chunks of lemon. How it was made was questionable. |
1 |
| Dark Side Cookie |
Let the sugar flow through you. |
1 |
| Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster |
Grants stealth by causing observers to momentarily forget your existence. |
1 |
| Don't Panic Danish |
Served on an artisanal sugar towel. |
1 |
| Dust Bunny Familiar |
Weak but extremely emotionally supportive. |
1 |
| Copper Ingot of Ea-Nasir (Absolutely Terrible Quality) |
You deserve better. But here we are. |
1 |
| Tower Towel |
Just about the most massively useful thing that one can carry |
1 |
| Potion of Minor Healing (Raspberry Flavor) |
Heals paper cuts, stubbed toes, and mild emotional damage. |
1 |
| Cloak of Dramatic Billowing |
Just epic flair. Perfect for grand entrances and exits alike. |
1 |
| Caterpillar's Hookah |
Take a puff and gain cryptic but oddly useful wisdom. |
1 |
| Hugbox |
Tired of debates? Need a cuddly break? Retreat into your own cozy Hugbox, built and trademarked by Jean Claude Van Ma'am. Fits three. |
1 |
| Silver Ring |
Ornately detailed for those who like rock and stone. |
1 |
| Mocking Monkey |
Potty trained and very polite, except when you're trying to play any sort of game. He will mock you to no end. |
1 |
| Goggles of Geekery |
Peer through these magical goggles to see the world in all its nerdy glory, spotting any- and everything from hidden Easter eggs in the landscape to secret references in ancient texts. |
1 |
| Spiral Herbs of Warmth |
A special selection of the finest seasonal spiral herbs, only harvested during Christmas-time. May cause extraordinary niceness and warm fuzzy feels when added to any dish, or sprinkled on a friend. |
1 |
| Escaped Rat |
He narrowly escaped a brutal dissection, and is quite shaken. Would love a cuddle and some cheese. Got any? |
1 |
| Boo Brew |
Enjoy a pint of the Spiral's finest Halloween ale! Hints of pumpkin, blood, sweat, and tears. Cheers, friend! |
2 |
| Haunted Spiral Coin |
Proof of surviving Halloween 2024 in the clutches of the spooky Spiral. |
1 |
| Beelzebub The Bulldog |
Bub is the cuddliest companion! Loves long walks in the moonlight, sitting by the fire and fetching bones. |
1 |
| A Stiff Drink |
Damn, this is what I needed after the week I had. |
1 |
| Sparkling Dagger |
Blindingly bedazzled to distract and mesmerize your sacrifices, or just to add a little bling for a fancy night out. |
1 |
| Cosmic Spiral Rucksack |
Sturdy and dagger-proof! Changes color depending on your mood. Pockets and holders for your daggers, robe, even your swiss hot chocolate! Hidden compartment containing a black hole, for.. reasons. |
1 |
| The Spiral Towel |
Don't forget to bring a towel! Perhaps THE most important item you should always have with you in the Spiral, especially on fridays. |
1 |
| Giggle Gummy Bears |
Bursts into fits of barely controlled laughter when you bite into it. Has the same effect on you in approximately 30 minutes later. |
1 |
| Sonic Screwdriver of Space-time Shenanigans |
With this versatile tool, you can hack into alien technology, unlock doors, and even fix the occasional plot hole in the fabric of reality. |
1 |
| Cuddly Mini Cerberus |
Don't let its fearsome reputation fool you; this three-headed hellhound is a big softie at heart. It may have three heads, but it also has three times the affection (and slobber) to shower you with. |
1 |
| Moonlight Dagger |
Elegant form, decorated with opal gemstones. Gets an eerie glow at full moon... |
1 |
| Spiral Shoes |
Boogie down in the grooviest shoes! Funky colors, luxurious suede, and a silent step. Made for sneaking up silently and dancing the night away. |
1 |
| Party Robe |
Colorful, charming and utterly cool. Tailored to your perfect measurements, unbelievably flattering and dapper! Get your groove on at any party or sacrifice. |
1 |
| The One Token |
Celebrated the One year anniversary of the Tower, took part in the sacrificial blood ritual and had some pie. |
1 |
| Psychedelic Party Hat |
Makes you have kaleidoscopic moments of absolute psychedelic pleasure! Groovy, baby! |
1 |
| Metal Mouse |
He's not actually made of metal, he IS metal. Feeds on blood and bones, headbangs and occasionally tries to burn a random church. |
1 |
| Merry Marmot |
A happy and chunky little fellow. Enjoys burrowing into boxes and eating gingerbread houses. |
1 |